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Would you consider this rape?

If you didn't want to have sex with your husband, because you don't feel connected to him although you've expressed to him what you need from him emotionally to rebuild that connection but he doesn't put in the effort for you. But he just continues on a regular basis to pressure you for sex, making the entire house tense because he becomes more angry as you continually say and tell him why and how to fix it, until you just break and say whatever just do it already, basically rolled over and said just do it. And he did - the whole time you are crying and not really taking any part it in -tell him to just hurry up and get it over with...and he does...Would you consider that rape or abuse?

 
blessedwboysx3

Asked by blessedwboysx3 at 4:29 PM on Jan. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 21 (10,897 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • as a women i'm sorry you experienced this. As a wife I'm angry as hell. I don't want you to think i 'm making excuses for your huddy but men don't fully understand women. They are like children with egos. Do I think if volated you yes he did but weather it was rape or not only matters by they way it made you feel. I'm sure he felt like an ass but in the mind of a man he may have told his self well she said it was ok. Most importantly you need to express how you feel with you huddy. I'm sure you have but not all man are expect listeners. They are like children and it;s best if you let him know how you feel in a charm non accusive way. I know your trying to work things out with him and I wish you all the best. If he doesn't wake up maybe just taking some time apart would make him realize he has a woman who loves him.
    heavensgrace

    Answer by heavensgrace at 7:25 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I would call it abuse and him not taking into consideration you feelings whatsoever!!
    jsimonds220

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 4:31 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I believe that there are elements of both. Having been raped, crying as it happens is an almost given. Having been in a sexually abusive relationship, I relate with what you are saying. You might want to be careful. He might even be getting some pleasure out of the torture that he doing to you. That can lead to even worse situations.
    PhoenixFire

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 4:33 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I'd consider your husband to be an ass hole. But since you consented it's not technically rape. I mean I can completely understand that you really didn't want to but you just said yes to get him to shut the hell up but in the end you said yes and you were in your right state of mind so it's not technically rape. I'd consider getting a marriage counselor though, or maybe leaving your husband because what kind of a person can continue to have sex with their wife while she's crying and telling him to hurry up and finish?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Neither. You gave it to him. He did not TAKE it physically, as in RAPE.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:35 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • no..you told him to just do it already
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 4:37 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Maybe you need a new husband
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:41 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I wouldn't really call it rape, since technically you gave your consent. What I would call it is pressured into unwanted sex.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:50 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • It is not rape. Rape is when you say NO, and then someone takes what they want anyway.If you are married and have children you should make some eye contact and talk to him strait up! You are not happy and your child is seeing all the uncomfortableness in both of you, however he shows it is probally different but noticable.Will he go to counciling? Will you? You may have to go alone & then take the next step .Life is full of serprises good and bad.If you do your foot work to life in you .You can make it a happy one.What do you want?....So now go do what you have to, to get it.We can make things worse in our heads so don't sit in this get up and change your situation to a better one.Whatever it takes, it's worth it for your child ,rite? Good luck and I'm sorry for all your sadness, I have been there.No one can change you but you.
    Stefono

    Answer by Stefono at 4:52 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Its abuse..I was in a relationship like this ..but with me I would consider it rape...being the fact he would hold me down and shove all his fingers up in me ripping me down there..well im telling him no and crying.
    preggers17

    Answer by preggers17 at 4:57 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

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