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My daughter just did this and i'm freaking OUT... (TMI)... SCARED

My daughter is 4 years old and she is constantly undressing her dollies and making them do awkward positions. I didn't really think much about it until she started licking her dollies "butt" other term vagina... I immediately asked her who showed her this, and she wouldn't tell me. She just kept saying "nobody, nobody". She has a doctors appointment on Monday and I am definitely bringing this up to her. I am afraid that somebody is doing something sexually to her. How do I approach this touchy subject? She also dances a lot and it seems like she is dancing too much like an adult.. Which I don't dance at all.. WHAT DO I DO

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:26 PM on Jan. 15, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (14)
  • try to calm down and then talk to her again - if she gets the feeling that she is in trouble she is not going to give up info
    good luck

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 6:29 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • wow that would really scare me too! i dont think it would be a problem to ask the dr, or bring it up to her. maybe try to talk to her about it. ask her where she learns these things. good luck!!!!

    Answer by juandmad09 at 6:31 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • could it be somethign she is looking at becasue my son acdentaly saw some porn (my SO thqught te baby was in his bed room watchign tv when he was actully just behind daddy watchign the girls on the computer) and for like 3 weeks after he grabbed womens brests it was horrible he was young so people laughed but i knew the real reason so i woudl cring everytime now it NO PORN untill the little one is in bed in his own room with the door firmly shut.

    Answer by jajamama at 6:34 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • do you leave your daughter anywhere where you think she could've been exposed to that? I have a 5 year old son and a 3 year old son and they both play with their toys and show me their "butt's" and "pee-pees"....and then they laugh. They think its funny. I've not caught them doing anything else but I know that they are curious about body parts. I usually tell them thats not nice to show off private parts.......and try not to make them feel uncomfortable about the situation......good luck!

    Answer by LynnB1 at 6:34 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Could she have seen something on tv?I would identify anyone she spends time with out you.That would be a start .

    Answer by boogernoodle at 6:34 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • That is a scary situation but you cant question your child like the guilty party. Instead maybe ask her why she is licking the dolls "butt". Explain to her that it is innapropriate to touch somebody else's private parts. Tell her that if he is ever asked to or if anybody touches hers that she will not be in trouble but she needs to tell you immediately.
    Who else is she around without you?
    I would not immediately assume that she is being abused, she may just be curious, maybe she is beginning to learn that there are certain sensations down there on her own.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:39 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • OP HERE:

    For the first question she couldn't see porn because my husband watches it when we are all asleep. For the second the only places she goes besides home would be her grandparents house, school, and home. I do not trust anyone with her besides my parents and of course school. I would never allow porn to be watched in the daytime while she is up and running around so no she wouldn't have seen it. Thank you all. I will be talking with her doctor on Monday.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I know you are freaked out. You have every right to be. But you need to calm down and talk to her about this in a calm manner. You do need to ask her where she learned it. The "nobody, nobody" comment to me sends red flags. I was raped when I was 9 by other kids in the neighborhood. I did not know what it was called. I did not understand what had happened. And I felt like I couldn't tell anyone. It was a scary thing for me.
    Normally, the acting out of such activities when playing with dolls is something that psychs look for as a sign of sexual abuse. You do need to take this seriously. You do need to get her help. But you need to be a little more calm when you talk to her. Remember, if anything has happened, she is a victim and most likely confused about it all. This is a delicate situation. Treat it as such.

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 6:47 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • You should really find out. When I was little my father was touching me and my younger sister, but I was told to never tell. When it went on for too long, and I was too scared I finally told my teacher at school, and my dad went to jail. My mom never knew any of this until the cops came and took him away.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Have her doctor examine her and get her into counseling ASAP. This is heart breaking. I'll keep her in my prayers. Until you know for sure, don't leave her alone with anybody. Everyone is a suspect IMO.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 7:26 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

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