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What do you do when a grandparent wants to babysit, but you don't like to hand over child care to some one other than your spouse?

I know i hurt my mil's feelings. She kept on and on about this small group she wanted me to go to, and I said i didn't want to go because abeni was to little to stay quiet,(my daughter is 3 months) and i didn't want her to interfere with the group discussion. So mil said she would keep her, and I told her i didn't like babysitters. Ugh! I am just tired of being pressured to "get her off my hands" for any amount of time. She is my baby, why shouldn't I want to be with her?


Asked by e_h at 6:38 PM on Jan. 15, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • With my first child I allowed people to pressure me into keeping him to "give me a break". What it did was give me high blood pressure! You decide when the time is right, if her feelings are hurt that's on her. You have an infant and she needs mommy most! Funny though that when the babies are toddlers and older no one cares to give you a "break" lol

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:14 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • lol
    the time will come when you are begging for a break, but until then don't let anyone pressure you

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 6:40 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • If you are happy with things as they are, then there is no need to apologize.

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:40 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Same here. I just tell them thanks but no thanks.....Then walk away. They don't understand, they just keep nagging. If I wanted to do something then I would ask them to watch him...They don't get it.

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 6:40 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Tell her how much you enjoy being with your baby and that you are not ready to be away from her right now. She's a mom. She should understand that

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:45 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • It seems as tho your mil is longing to spend time with her grandbaby. Maybe you should plan a grandma day at your house,
    with you there, and just let grandma tend to the baby while you do other things in the house. You will accomplish something and mil will be thrilled.

    Answer by mago7160 at 6:49 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I understand -- my dh and I have raised 4 kids pretty much without a babysitter. There have only been a couple times where a relative would watch our kids. Now I have a granddaughter, she lives with us, and I watch her while her mom goes to school and work and occasionally out with friends. My mom, as well as her other g-ma, wanted to watch her sometimes. At first I was adamant that I was her babysitter. I was taking it as they thought I couldn't handle it. But, they just wanted to spend some time with her while she was little, and enjoy her! Now, she is 14 months, almost 15, and I am soooo glad for the breaks. Enjoy your baby now, and when the time is right, let your MIL enjoy some time with her grandbaby.

    Answer by 29again at 6:50 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • It's fine to tell her that you want to be with your baby right now, she still is a little bit young. But you need to get used to leaving her with someone you trust because you don't want to be one of the women whose ONLY life is her kids. You're going to want to be comfortable with someone watching her when your DH or SO starts wanting to go out on "date nights" or when you have appointments you can't take her to or whatever. it's fine to want to spend all your time with her when she is young, but please find someone you trust to watch her and don't just shrug off doing things by yourself, or with your DH because in every marriage I have seen where the mom is ALWAYS with her kids, the marriage suffers. Just a heads up. But enjoy your baby now while she is young, they grow up too fast :)

    Answer by AprilDJC at 7:18 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • i was very picky as to who i would let my son stay with at that age...he is 5 now and really i am still just as picky. There are just certain things that bug me about people. I didnt mind my grandparents to keep him and they are in there 60's. I never left him with my dad or stepmom though as much as they would mother i would let her keep him but never over night. My ex's mother she was allowed to watch him while i took a shower...haha.

    Answer by shay1130 at 7:20 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Why won't you let your MIL take her? She's a grandma and it is normal for her to want to spewnd time with her grandchild. I LOVE when my parents take my DD. She LOVES being around them so much, that I would never deny that. I have been that way ever since she was an infant. Family bonds are so important.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Jan. 16, 2010