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My granddaughter & her mother live with us & so it's kind of hard to discipline her. She is 2 1/2 so therefore she calls me mommy & her mommy; mommy. She still drinks the bottle; she is not potty trained yet & she still doesn't sleep through the night. Her mother has a 3rd shift job. I'm taxi for everyone at odd hours & I'm trying to raise another baby without her mother biting my head off. Any suggestions please?

Daddy is not in the picture. He does not claim her so her grandfather is her father. Her mother has given me pretty much free rain but then if I do something she doesn't like. She's grouchy. I'm not sure what else you need.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:12 PM on Jan. 15, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (7)
  • Wow that's tough! I say since this is occurring in your house, put your foot down. She shouldn't have a bottle at all. Her teeth are going to be jacked up. Let your daughter be grouchy, she either needs to act like a mother or keep her mouth shut and learn how to be one. Sorry if that was too blunt, but it's only setting your grand-daughter up for failure. You're being walked all over and need to take a stand. Your daughter should realize how fortunate she really is to have parents that will help her raise her daughter and take care of both of them.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 8:20 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Got a very similar situation at my house, except my dd works and goes to school, and the baby goes to daddy's every other weekend. First thing I would do is to not let your granddaughter call you mommy, you are not her mommy. Then, I would set up some ground rules with dd. This is her child, she really should have input on how to raise her. You can help, and give advice, and babysit, but the actual raising should be up to her. Since she works 3rd, set a time for her to be up each night, and then she spends time with her dd. Let her do the household chores that concern her dd, such as laundry, baths, etc. Think of it as practice for when she is out on her own. But stop doing everything for her, cause she won't benefit in the long run. Hope this helps some, good luck!

    Answer by 29again at 8:43 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • As a grandmother raising TWO grandchildren, in fact they are now adopted by us, I say you have a sit down with "Mommy". Be straight up. You are bending over backwards to make her life easier and she has the nervbe to get grouchy. It is YOUR house. She really only has three choices,. She needs to back off, she needs to take 100% care and responsibility for her child including, cooking laundry and arranging daycare or she needs to move out do what she needs to do. It is a really hard place to be. Believe me I know. They are our kids, and we love them...just refuse to enable her in letting you parent her child when it's convienent for her.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:54 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Do what MY MOMMAW would do it's my house my rules your not here to raise this child so it's up to me to do it. I don't care if you agree with all that I do if you believe you can do it better than do it..If NOT THAN STEP BACK AND DON

    Answer by momnometo3 at 5:21 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Tell your daughter to grow up and be a mom. Stop being her taxi and stop raising her child. Set rules for the house and if she doesn't like them, she can move out. Either she is the mom or she isn't. That has to be her decision. If she wants to be the mom, then help her out by making suggestions, but let her do the majority of the work it takes to raise a child. Let her make mistakes and learn from them. If she isn't willing to be a parent, then she leaves and you take custody of the child and raise her.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:47 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • You are the grandma/mom in this situation. They are living in your house and basically it sounds like you are raising this do it your way. Act like you would if this was your child. Set some limits and throw away the bottles. It'll be much easy to potty train when she's off the bottle. Stand your ground with your dd, tell her you love this child as your own and will do things your way until she is ready or able to do them herself.

    Answer by robyann at 11:49 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Yeah I can give you advice because I "WAS" going through the exact same thing.....DO YOU!!!! Focus on your kid, and forget about everyone else's problems. That taxi thing, I was doing that too.....DRIVE YOU!!!!!! Don't worry about everyone else.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 8:30 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

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