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Help with asperger's syndrome....

I am very confident that my son has aspergers syndrome, but it will be a couple of weeks before we can get him diagnosed formally (assuming he does in fact have it). In the meantime, are there any tips any other moms can give me about how to deal with a child with aspergers? He's 7 years old and gets in trouble daily at school for not following directions and acting out...he can't seem to make friends - his social skills are more like that of a 3-4 year old. We have been disciplining him like a normal child (he needs to earn his toys daily by being good at school) but I see now that he probably isn't getting anything out of our way of disciplining.....what are the basics that parents need to know about children with aspergers??

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Asked by stepmom929 at 9:52 PM on Jan. 15, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 12 (920 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I have a 7 year old with Aspergers, and was diagnosed myself. Honestly, what I found to work best was a reward system. We have a chart which includes things such as behaving in school, chores, behaving on the bus, etc. If he does this, at the end of the day, he gets a sticker/mark in that area. There is a reward for having a certain amount of stickers. You can choose what you think would work best.

    Also, he needs things explained to him in a very clear, very concise manner. Remember, if he does have Aspergers, he will think very literally. Yelling and spanking are definitely a bad idea. They overwhelm the child and make the problem worse. I know you didn't say you do that, but I thought I would mention it.

    Also, talk to your school about your concerns. He will be seen by a school psychologist, and they may be able to help him. Get that eval asap. The diagnosis will open up a lot of services.

    Answer by Cymbeline at 9:58 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Make sure the school is aware so that they will take it into consideration when dealing with issues at school.

    If you see that he will not calm down when he is in trouble let him have a quiet space of his own where no one bothers him, many times when they are in trouble they will shut down and stop responding to you, raising your voice will just push them deeper into theirselves.

    I found that using a very monotone voice with my son worked best, also eye contact is just not going to happen it is hard for them and for some kids actually hurts them to keep eye contact.

    redirection and consistancy are my two biggest for lack of a better word weapons lol, as you get a dx and learn coping skills you will find what works best for your child. Just remember aspie's thrive on routine and need quiet spaces to go to, they do best not sharing a room. I have a 12 y/o Aspie feel free to PM me anytime :)

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 10:22 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • i have an 8yr old boy and 3 ring said just about every piece of advice i could give you.......dont yell talk calmly and explain why things need to be the way there are and also making him stop and think about how he would feel if same thing was done to him is also a great tool.....

    Answer by cara124 at 10:43 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I do NOT have personal experience but have read... that schedules/ routines/ consistency are crucial (for any kid).

    Answer by txdaniella at 9:16 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

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