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What would you do?

Ok, I volunteer for a local domestic violence shelter. We have a 24hr crisis line and I have it for the weekend. Tonight just before 5, a lady calls and is in need of shelter. She had her 3 kids with her (aged 15, and 2-12 year olds) Anyway, the husband had been drinking and was being verbally abusing her all day. She's been putting up with this for several months. She came to our office about a month ago and was approved for shelter but chose not to take it for what ever reason.. I wasn't working there at the time. She is no longer eligable for our shelter and has no way to get to another shelter. Has a car, but no money. The shelter in the next town could take her but she can't get there. There is no rule against helping clients out of our own pockets, but it isn't recommended. I thought about giving her $5 to get her there but I don't know that it's a good idea. What would you do? *Note: I have the right to delete bashing*

Answer Question

Asked by Megs5384 at 9:52 PM on Jan. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (540 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • If $5 is what's standing in her way then I'd def help her.

    Answer by ThePinkRobot at 9:55 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • well- seeing as my ex tried to kill me and I fled and spent 6 months in hiding in a safehouse, if you feel she is really going to stay gone- then do it. if she's just looking for a place to crash until it blows over then its a waste of your time.

    it took over a dozen direct attempts on my life for me to leave and finally stay gone- i can not count in that 7 years how many times i left and went back. its been 16 months since I said the final good bye. but it took a lot to get here.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:56 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I think you should do whatever you feel is right in your heart. If you won't get into any kind of trouble work-wise for helping her find a shelter, than I don't see the harm in it. What's $5 you know? I would probably help her out. Any time I can do a good deed for someone I will. Those are the kinds of things that God doesn't let go unnoticed. And one day if I was in a situation like that, I would hope someone would be kind enough to help me.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 9:57 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • honstly i dont think you should have helped her. that is her own fault she has a chance to go to a shelter and she decided not to. personal i dont fell bad for lady that was abused and keep going back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Are you kidding? Give her $20 so she can stop by McDonalds and feed her kids on her way there...! What's to think about? So what happened to her, where is she now?

    Answer by chocolatluver at 10:06 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • well, I had to call my back up staff to follow up on a couple questions and I told her I would call her back. She had a safe number and I had already called her on it. But she didn't answer this last time and we have a rule that we never call a # back more than once. Especially if it's a cell phone because we never know if they went back into the situation or if they are still safe. It's hard not knowing what she's doing, but there's not much else I can do. I didn't even have the opportunity to offer to help her financially. To the anon who said it's her own fault, go to your local DV shelter and go through a training, you'll have a change of heart. There are literally hundreds of reasons that women stay. And unless you've been there or have been trained properly, (I've done both by the way) then you shouldn't judge so harshly. Oh, and if you read my OP again, you'll see that I THOUGHT about it, not actually did it yet.

    Answer by Megs5384 at 10:28 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • pay it forward

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I think I'd do it, but I'd have to do it knowing that there's a chance that she might use it for something else and end up going back and I can't let myself get mad for trying to help her out. $5 isn't a lot to complain over anyway.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • You've done what you can within your employment boundries. Hopefully she'll call again. It's very difficult to take that initial step, especially when the victim has no financial means to get away.

    Answer by chocaholic888 at 12:57 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • I think it's great that you are helping abused woman! If you can help her out of her situation and it would only cost you $5 GIVE IT TO HER! I'd even go pick her up and take her to a shelter, not sure you can legally do that. But woman in that situation need help, they need someone who cares, and wants to help them. Being in that situation makes you feel so alone and lost. I say you should do whatever you can to help her.

    Answer by robyann at 11:24 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

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