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how do you survive after losing a spouse

i lost my husband 3 months ago. im only 55 and i still have kids at home. i also have a three year old grandson living with me. i only get social security. im not old enough for surivors benifits. i take care of my grandson everyday. his mom is a teenmom who works at a fastfood place. she cant afford a babysitter. she also takes 12 units atcommunity college. i feel whatever money she gets should go to take care of her son. but im really struggling both emotionally and phyically.

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stressedoutgran

Asked by stressedoutgran at 12:21 AM on Jan. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,324 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Well if you try to get a job then you could help support child care... or she can try for financial aide.. mine is helping some of my child care..
    or you can try to find children to watch during the day.. you can watch up to three without being credited.
    Jan0609momma

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 12:27 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • of course the children's parents that you watched would be helping with the income flow
    Jan0609momma

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 12:28 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • A way to help with the emotional part of dealing with your loss is to join a support group. It sounds like you don't have much time to yourself because of caring for your grandson, but you also need to think about your well being and just being able to talk to others who are dealing with similar issues.
    chocaholic888

    Answer by chocaholic888 at 12:45 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • You can barely take care of yourself 3 months after loosing your spouse let alone take care of other people's kids, Jan0609mommna.

    Is your daughter the only one left at home? I'm channeling my friend through the phone who lost her husband five years ago when she was 29 and pregnant with their second child.

    If all of your kids are over 16, you wouldn't be able to get survivors benefits any longer, but your children should get it until they are eighteen. My friends is 35 now and gets it for herself and her two kids.

    Hang in there. It gets a little easier over time. It may take a long long time but you'll get there.

    If you can talk to someone locally, that might help. Other than that, only time will help.

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. Going through it with my BFF of 20 years was one of the hardest things i've ever done in my life.
    heatheryn

    Answer by heatheryn at 12:46 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • i dont think you ever get over loosing a spouse.... my mom hasnt yet and its been close to 3 yrs he passed and shes really struggling financially theres days where she doesnt even have milk .... i try to help her wit whatever i can...
    Naralie

    Answer by Naralie at 1:52 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • You poor thing. I hope that you can find a support group close to you.

    The baby has a second parent, and perhaps two additional grandparents. They should be doing their share of child care.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:46 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • I can't even begin to imagine what my life would be without my husband, not only financially but emotionally. You defenitely need financial help from your kids, however little it might be, it is not fair that you should carry all the burden, specially now that you are a widow. My heart goes out to you, I wish I had a solution that would make your life easier, but please, you are still young, don't think your life is over, destiny might have something for you that you probably don't expect. God bless.
    older

    Answer by older at 10:32 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

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