My sil came from out of town with her hubs and son. Well we have just bought our first home and I was very excited to have them see it. We are proud and hoped they would be as well. In the 3 days that they have been here they have came up with every excuse not to come over so instead we go to them. I later find out from hubs that there is a lie that is making them stay away and it hurts. I am hurt because she could not confront me about it only to sneer behind my back and 2, I have never felt good enough for his side of the family; making me feel even more rejected.
How can I tell her that this really hurt without being confrontational and getting heated over it???
Family issues - why is it so hard sometimes to be kind to the people in our lives that are suppose to be the most important, yet we can be extremely kind to someone who is just a "friend"? I would just sit with her and talk to her about it. It is to important to not have issues between family. She may not know how to or be confident enough to talk to you (even though she seems to be able to give it the gossip time). Let her know you're hurt, but be willing to listen to her tell her story. If you are going to fix this so that it becomes a positive, you have to be calm, don't accuse her of anything, accept her apology (if one is offered), and apologize yourself. We are never completely fault free.
Answer by jesse123456 at 8:31 AM on Jan. 16, 2010
Answer by truealaskanmom at 3:11 AM on Jan. 16, 2010
Answer by wolfmomma30 at 3:14 AM on Jan. 16, 2010
Answer by truealaskanmom at 3:21 AM on Jan. 16, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 AM on Jan. 16, 2010
It takes time (read many years, but don't hold your breath) for in-laws to accept you. Also if a person chooses to lie to me without telling the truth, or giving me the benefit of a doubt, I wouldn't be very concerned about them. People who matter don't judge, those that judge don't matter. People who do have told me (silently) that it's easier to lie because they practice lying to themselves more. Honesty is the foundation of any relationship. They can't give what they ain't got. Frankly, your husband and family are more important than their pettiness. The best way to teach these in-laws an example is by living the example. Learn to utilize the power of silence in stilling your tongue, feelings of rejection, quieting your anger and binding them with the power of prayer. The truth requires no defense.
Answer by Ewadun at 4:14 AM on Jan. 16, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 AM on Jan. 16, 2010
Answer by Six_on_my_own at 10:11 AM on Jan. 16, 2010