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can u spoil a baby?? by holding???

ok i babysit for a firend she has a 11 week old who i love she and her dh have been trying for 2 yrs to have a baby now she finally has one and im happy for them. but i do know they hold her 24/7. she is never put down. so when i babysit she only wants to be held i also have a 4 yr old and i also babysit another 2 1/2 yr old. so i cany hold her the whole time she is here. if i put her down she screams u pick her up shes fine i would feed her burp her change her play with her she is all good but to even put her down to go to bathroom she screams. as soon as u pick her up again she is fine. so if that is the trouble how would u tell parents they need to let her cry a lil. and learn to cope. i love this baby but cant hold her for 9 hours when parents are working.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Jan. 16, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Lucky baby. An 11 week old shouldn't need to cope. Being held is an ingrained survival mechanism. She is NOT spoiled. Being held is as essential to babies as food and water. You can't spoil a baby with affection and holding, you can only spoil children with THINGS. don't ruin a good thing for the baby with its parents.

    Invest in a sling or wrap. I also have no problem bringing the baby to the bathroom with me and setting her on the floor on the carpet while I pee so she could see me at that age. Now I don't have to do that because she knows I come right back and pick her up when she calls me. If I have things to do, I put her in a wrap.

    Answer by amileegirl at 9:53 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • You can't spoil an 11 week old. The reason she cries when you leave is because babies that young haven't yet grasped the concept that when you leave their sight, you'll be back. They think that once you leave their sight, you're just gone. She's too young to learn to "cope". She's only going off of her survival instincts that she was born with. Either gain more patience, or tell your friend to find a babysitter that understands babies better. I didn't mean for that to sound rude if it did. Some people are just more patient than others and when people don't understand why an 11 week old is crying so much, they have the potential to lose their cool and that's how Shaken Baby Syndrome happens. Not saying you're a bad person, because that can happen to anybody. People don't realize they do it until it's too late. Hope this helps you understand a little better. Good luck.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 9:52 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • no! I never let my son cry when he was a baby... some say to let him cry it out but this is the time when they need someone the most. they are usually crying because they need something. if you don't want to hold her all the time you could try and put her on her tummy and lay on the floor next to her. tummy time is really important anyways.

    Answer by c_lotte1107 at 10:02 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • This isn't spoiling, nor is it bad. If YOU as her caregiver, can't give her what she needs at this time (which, right now, is to be held often) then maybe you shouldn't be her caregiver. I don't mean this to be harsh, but if you don't have the time to do that while also caring for the other children you care for, maybe you should tell mom to find another caregiver for the time being until baby is older.

    Answer by Krysta622 at 10:39 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • I don't think you can spoil a baby. He or she wants to feel secure. When i think of spoiling, i think of fruit left too long on the counter...

    Answer by txdaniella at 11:18 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • thank u ladies for your input on the subject. i never though of a wrap/sling. =)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Jan. 16, 2010