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everything she wants she gets.

My boyfriend's mother wants him to buy her a $100 dollar ring for her birthday but the problem is that we don't have the money for that. I am currently taking classes to become a cna so I am no employed at the moment and he is the only one working. We have two children together. So it is hard with only one income. For Christmas he spend of 150 dollars on his family and spent only 50 on mine. I do not find this fair. I don't understand why everytime his mother asks for something he does it for her. I feel like it is always about her. I think before buying a ring for his mother we need to save up to move into a three bedroom apartment. I have a job that I will start March 1st so I want to save to move. What do you all think about this? What should I do? How do I explain to him?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Jan. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I think you are right. I also don't thing there is much you can do about this. I'd tell him what I think. But it's his mom. And it sounds like she has a lot of power in his life. It sounds like he puts her first.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Well first why is she telling him what to buy her. Second he needs to tell her right know he can not afford this.

    My parents don't expect anything other then a call or a card for there birthday.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • ok he spent fifty dollars on you for christmas but how much did he spend on each child too? How large is his family for christmas costing more for their gifts than yours alone or your kids alone or combined?

    Has your mil done an amount of watching kids for you and hubby? Good to go to for advice on kids often?

    If you get alone well with her try using coupons at double coupon stores and some store brands to redeem the cost of the ring. If you hardly ever see her and she's not done much for your own family, I'd tell hubby that's too much and tell her too. There's no reason you can't say that nicely except that society says a dil cant speak up to a mil, even own mother.

    But there is no legal court law that disallows you telling mom what other ideas can she give you to help you keep costs down.
    For gosh sakes what's she gonna want next month, 3rd month in a row for gifts, for Valelntine's Day?
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 11:33 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • I think that if my son were having trouble making ends meet that I wouldn't ask for a pricey gift.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:38 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • has she been specific about what ring she wants? There are lots of department stores that have clearence...tell him you would love to pick something out for her. You could get her a 100 dollar ring at 25 dollars.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 11:39 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • You aren't married and he is supporting you and the children while you go to school. It is up to him how he spend the money he earns.

    He could leave you and you would only get support, maybe. When you have children and aren't married it makes everything more complicated. He may not see a three bedroom apartment as important and may not want to sign a lease.

    He will always have his mother and that is why you may be feeling "it's always about her."

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:41 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Wth is she doing TELLING HIM what to buy her for her birthday?? She's completely overstepping her boundaries.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • OP: She doesn't watch my children cause she isn't well enough. For christmas he bought all of his little cousins something. I only have a brother sister dad mom step dad and he spend 5 dollars on sister brother step dad and 10 on my dad and 15 on my mom. his mother got 25 his grandma got 25 all 4 of his aunts got 20 his little cousins 2 of them got 120, and then the other 2 got 50 and there is more just don't want to list it all. for my children we only spent about 75 together. I understand that I don't work so he can do whatever with his money but I am going to work on March 1st and I want to start saving but we can't do that if she wants this gift. Actually we don't even have the 100 dollars right now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • A ring is not something a son with a family should buy for his mom. Tell mom to get a boyfriend to buy it for her. That's just freaky. She needs to cut those apron strings. It's not the amount of money that's the issue it's the fact that mommy wants to take from her own son's family. That's just sick if you ask me. Maybe she doesn't feel loved without being given material things. I'd tell him to just tell her he loves her and keep his money and save for the house.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:42 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • I would be upset, as you are currently. As the mother of a 25-year-old son, I would never ever dare even think to ask my son for any specific gift no matter how much money he did or did not have. I expect no gifts from my son, his love is more than enough for me. Don't get me wrong, I do receive gifts from my son, but I would never be so childish as to demand a specific gift from him ever.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

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