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Am I the only one that notices this? If not, does anyone have an explanation for it?

Today when I was in the store with my girls, a lady was repremanding her son. Instead of looking at him, she was looking directly at me, as if I was the one she was talking to. This isn't the first time this has happened. Another example is when I was at a birthday party, all this girl kept doing was telling her son how much of a "bad ass kid" he was and how much he didn't listen. After every comment like that she'd proudly look around the room and smile at everyone. I don't know if people are just trying to see who's looking at them when they're correcting their children, or if they do it for attention? Whatever the reasoning is, I think they look stupid. Do they want the big gold star for showing everyone they know how to be an obnoxious parent or what? It's confusing and awkward when this happens...

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nicolemstacy

Asked by nicolemstacy at 3:00 PM on Jan. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,807 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • No, I notice it too. I'm not sure how to interpret it, but it could be that she is looking for support. Or a pat on the back for being what she thinks is a good parent, or she thinks she's being funny and is seeing if others will laugh?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Or maybe she's just checking to see if someone is on the phone to cps. Half the time parents are worried about disciplining their kids in public because their afraid someone will report them. I'm all for stepping in and reporting and stopping abuse, but when I have to worry that I'll be reported for spanking my child it's gone too far.

    And how do you know she spent the whole time looking at you? Because you obviously spent the entire time looking at her. That would make me wary too, and I'd be looking around to see who else was watching me discipline my child.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 3:17 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Yep, I have noticed this too. I also am not sure on what to to really think of it. I wanna say it happens alot at the grocery when their kid starts throwing a tantrum and they are trying to calm the situation. Maybe they just want to see who is looking at them, as in embarrassment?!
    mommy_bink

    Answer by mommy_bink at 3:21 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • I think sometimes people do it because they see others looking at them. I think sometimes they do it to let others know they are aware their kid is being a pain and they are dealing with it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:26 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Lol I wasn't looking at her the whole time. I was looking at shoes and could see from my peripheral that she was looking at me. You know how you get that creepy feeling that someone's staring at you? I got that and sure enough she was.
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 3:26 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • I work in a grocery store and children mis-behaive and sometimes you just have to discipline. If you hit your child infront of me or in my vision then ya I am gonna call you on your shit and for those of you that disagree with that action that I will take then so be it we all have our flays.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • hahaha...i just spanked my ds in the store yesterday..he's my child, and i can spank him whenever, wherever he needs it. call the management, call the popo, call your momma...i'll spank you, too, if you don't listen to my warning and continue to misbehave.
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 4:06 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • This cracks me up. There's this lady that we SOMEHOW see at the grocery almost every time we go. Well, she has 4 kids and every time we see her she is yelling at her kids and has the meanest look on her face. I wonder if she's giving us the evil eye, because we can't help but notice her screaming at her children OR hating us for always being happy and NOT yelling at our child. If you don't have patience, you shouldn't have that many children.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 4:21 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Unfortunately that is common in a lot of parenting. When they act like you have explained it is souly for attention. They want to see the reaction on people's faces. Whether it's the thumbs up or the thumbs down they are seeking, it is souly for attention. It's horrible parenting if you ask me, because they're not doing it to right their child, they're doing it to keep from looking like a horrible parent in front of everyone. Which doesn't teach the child anything but how to get attention from strangers.

    I find this a lot when people see me reacting to my child. I have no need to yell at my child, grab him forcefully, spank him, or shake him around like a rag doll. I find all of that unneccisary behaviour and it doesn't create anything but resentment and anger in my child. I know I get looks like from people who do do those things like "Wow her child will be screwed up", because that's all they know how to do it.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:48 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • I look for sympathetic nods or whatever when my 12 month old misbehaves. It kills me when she screams in public, like when she wants to get down on a dirty floor or whatever. She can't walk yet, and she always wants to get on the floor and crawl. When I don't let her down, she WAILS as if I'm killing her. I try to keep her quiet, then I quickly scan the room to see if anyone's looking at me. I'm sure my face gets beet red. It's so embarrassing.
    caitxrawks

    Answer by caitxrawks at 6:09 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

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