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Was I right to go off on my best guy friend?

He always makes me feel stupid. His New Years resolution was to loose weight. Ok, that's fine for him, I should loose some too, but it's not my top priority right now. He texts me everyday telling me how many calories are in what he's eating. This is after I told him that he shouldn't neccesarily worry about calories, but more of what he's actually eating. He constantly puts down what I eat-and I don't eat bad. He always puts down my driving and the guys I date (he's in love with me). The last straw today was him saying something about me cutting. I tried to talk to him about it awhile ago and he wouldn't have anything to do with it. I'm not cutting, I've just been fighting the urge more and more lately. I went off on him today when we were hanging out. I took him back to my house where his car was parked and told him to leave. This has been going on for months. Did I overreact?

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SaraP1989

Asked by SaraP1989 at 3:08 PM on Jan. 16, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 14 (1,621 Credits)
Answers (26)
  • Any man who makes a woman INTENTIONALLY feel bad about herself, her habits or her lifestyle in general has serious issues. Not to mention this sounds more like a mentally abusive relationship that he has with you and it needs to stop. If i were you I'd point blank tell him "if you don't have anything nice to say, please for the love of God, don't say it." If he gets defensive or starts getting meaner to you it's because he feels threatened because up until now you've allowed him to treat you this way and you are finally standing up for yourself.

    As you mentioned he's in love with you, so your best bet is just to avoid him. When he calls, tell him your busy, if he stops by unannounced, don't answer the door. Seriously, this guy has issues. And if you are trying to fight the urge to cut yourself and he makes snide remarks about it, he's feeling threatened by that too. My son had a friend who cut herself....(cont)
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 3:14 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • To me it just sounds to me that he is watching out for your best interest and you are doing the same for him I personally think that he is worried about you and being a cutter is a very scary thing for someone to watch that cares about you. Maybe instead of going off on him you two lay things out on the table and get to the bottom of the real issues. Whatever that may be.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:15 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • ..and he never EVER made her feel bad about it, just tried to be supportive and talk to her when the urge struck her to cut. the last thing you need is someone there who is making you feel like this creep does. If you care about him, and you find it hard to let him go, then just limit the time you spend with this guy. Make it maybe one day a week, and then one hour a week and see if that doesn't help you feel better about yourself and move on to better, healthier male friendships.

    Good luck.
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 3:15 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • I have to say I completely agree with CINDERAMETHYST that is what you need to do. He is a very unhealthy person for you to be around and for the fact that this is for moms or moms-to-be this man(little boy) is not a good healthy person for your child/ren to be around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • He says that he's not going to let people walk all over him this year. I've never used him or tried to walk all over him. Sure, I've asked for favors but I never pushed it with him. He says I make him feel like shit. I honestly try and give him advice and that's it. Like about the calorie thing. Another thing he thinks I'm putting him down on is that he doesn't eat after 8. I just told him that was a myth and that he's going to burn calories the same way whether he eats at midnight or not. That's all I said and he said "I don't give a shit."

    I've known him for seven years and this shit is getting old.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 3:20 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Actually the not eating after a certain time is NOT a myth. What would make you think that?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Not eating after 6pm is a good idea for anyone that is trying to lose weight, although due to many peoples lifestyles this will not work. If you do need to eat after 6pm, ensure that is low carb and high protein.

    The reason for this is that your body's Metabolism slows down when it's sleeping, so it digests things slower. Carbs digest slowly even without a slowed Metabolism, so WITH the slow Metabolism, they end up not getting completely digested and end up stored as extra fat.

    People who eat after 6pm tend to make bad choices as well - chips, soda, chocolate while they watch tv......my wife stopped eating food after 6pm in January of this year (along with other lifestyle changes) and managed to lose 78 lbs - living proof it assists you in weigh loss!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • You went off on him bc you're a cutter. He cares about you. That scares people with bpd (cutters). Were you right in going off on him? You were emotional. Is that right? Probably not. If he loves you then he understands your mood swings anyway. btw, for those of us who are learning about calories and portion control, etc. we tend to try to pass on what we learn. I keep catching myself doing the same about telling my dd what is wrong about what she eats. I don't mean to criticize. I keep thinking I'm sharing information but she doesn't want to hear it so I have to stop. We mean no harm in getting excited about what we learn and try to share. We just need to learn to ask if others want us sharing!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:27 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Anon :24 why are you on a WOMENS SITE? And what worked for your WIFE may not work for everyone so really.
    I am 120lbs and I eat right before bed in the middle of the night and so does a friend of mine and she lost weight and so have I.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • If you feel bad then you did the right thing by telling him off.

    No one should make you feel less because they think they are doing it just right,etc.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 3:31 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

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