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is it time to call it quits?

i been married for 8 and half years and the marriage has been rocky from the get go. we constantly fight about everything. we separated 3 times and he say im gonna change i love you and all that bs so i take him back. although this last time it seems as if im the only one trying, i stopped talking to most of my friends cause he gets jealous then made a few online friends who live in different states and now he gets made when i IM them, which isnt often i talk to them once maybe twice a week. i clean house and cook take care of kids, all of the S@HM stuff and the house is never clean enough the food is never good enough, and accuses me of sittin around all day, if that were the case the house would be unlivable....i have 3 kids 6 and under and cant have a spotless house with kids...when i ask for help then i a lazy needy bitch but when his mom needs help he drops everything for her, and compares me to her...continued


Asked by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Jan. 16, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You should have been done a long ass time ago, imo, and saved yourself years of grief. Tomorrow and every day thereafter, you need to wake up and say to yourself, today I am choosing what I want my day to be, it is MY choice to stay in this miserable marriage or not...I can choose to leave TODAY and work towards a brighter tomorrow or I can choose to stay and be miserable...we forget after years of routine that we do indeed wake up and choose what the day will bring, get back in the drivers seat of your own life, take the wheel and steer it in the direction YOU want to go.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • she was a single mom who worked 2 jobs and cleaned house, but she never played with the kids she locked them in their room or made them watch tv(thats according to my husband and his sister) my priorities are a lot different ....and today when my parents came down to visit he was rude to me and the kids and to my parents, also trying to get them to take his side on lots of issues when they said they dont want to get involved he stomped upstairs and slammed stuff around and broke the bedroom door...im so done i dont know what else to do...we tried counseling i set up times then on the days we have appointment he go to his moms and helps here and said that she is more important than marriage counseling

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • if you both aren't in it together, then you need to ask yourself what is best for you and the kids. it should never be a one way street. there is no simple answer. if you aren't happy and things are not getting better then you need to think about what the next step is to compromise and settle so that you can live a happier and healthy life. Good luck to you.

    Answer by xtwilightx at 5:19 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • im not trying to be mean, cuz i would want to see any marriage fall apart, but i think you should pack your things up and the kids and just move out, dont call him ..dont ask him for anything, give it like a month. then see if he moves on or he is still the same or if this time he really is gonna change, i had to do this with my husband, it lasted 4 months, and now we cant get our hands offf eachother, it worked, it hurt me alottttt you have no idea the pain i had in side of me but, at the end it was all worth it, i wish you and your marriage the best of luck...
    god bless you and the fam!!!! =)

    Answer by yamil519 at 5:22 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • My first impulse is to say kick him out but then what would you do. You have 3 children under 6. You are going to be a single mom and still have to deal with him until the youngest is 18 or 21 or forever. It would be better to try and fix him. Can men be fixed?

    Try to get him to go to marriage counseling. I don't think you could get him to go to jerk counseling alone. He is being abusive and it is hard to fix. They used to think impossible but now there is some success if the abuse isn't physical.

    If that doesn't work maybe you could go to counseling to learn how to communicate/respond to the things he is doing in a way that will improve your relationship.

    I don't think you should go on the way it is.


    Answer by Gailll at 5:42 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Only you know if you have had enough.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:53 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • i've only been married a year and a half this month. hubby and i separated because we were fighting a lot over stupid shit. but now that we came back to eachother i think we both know that we need and want eachother til we die. i would of never stayed with him if it was a rocky relationship. and i would ask my self because i kno signs of cheating. the first thing is denial. he'll make you feel like shit so he doesnt have to. well i hope this doesnt upset you but i would look into it. sorry hun

    Answer by bmdred at 6:14 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • head for the hills girl

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:36 PM on Jan. 16, 2010