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Should their be rules to having girlfriends around when a child is involved?

In my state there is nothing saying that a guy cannot have girlfriends around a child from a previous relationship. I think this is in poor judgement of the courts. Unless they are married, I think it is wrong. My childs father is living with someone who hates me and there is nothing I can do about it. She even said she would make my life miserable and she hopes it kills me that she has my baby. This is ridiculous to have to put up with this immaturity when its not even for the long run. They could break up in a year and I'd have gone through all this b.s. with her for nothing.
I hate our government that they cannot take each case seperately. Just because someone does not have a record for selling crack and prostitution does not mean they are a fit person to be trying to raise a child that is not even their own. Some respect should be given to the women that went through 48 hours of labor.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Jan. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (19)
  • There can be rules if both parents agree to them. But the state won't make those mandatory, just as they won't have druggies sterilized. And it's a good thing not to have them running our homes (like telling us how many children we are allowed per family for example)...

    Answer by txdaniella at 9:02 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • it can be part of your custody agreement, but it is WAAAAAAYYY big brother to say it should be a law

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 9:03 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Why does she have your baby?

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 9:05 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • I am a girlfriend to a man with 2 children by another woman. It's unfair to say that EVERY SINGLE GIRLFRIEND to a father is unfit to be a mother or be around other women's children. I love and adore his kids, I have one of my own. We all play and spend time together. I respect the fact that they Have a MOTHER and I do nothing to interfer in that relationship. Their birth mom is a complete b*tch tho. Seriously. But I still have no right to say anything to my Boyfriend about what he should do about it.

    If there is a problem consider talking to your ex about it. Ask that she doesn't have any contact with you because it is disrespectful to you. Me and my Boyfriends ex Do NOT HAVE ANY CONTACT what so ever. Because she is crazy.

    You Can't and Shouldn't have ANY RIGHT to control who he's with. Unless of course this person is like on drugs, prostitution and so on. But you can't control him,

    Answer by SweetPoison at 9:17 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • If you're honestly completely bothered by it, then get full custody of your kids and only allow him visitation rights and ask that she not be around the kids if she is that bad of an influence on the kids. i mean she can be a bitch to you and the sweetest towards the kids.

    and seriously think about how the kids feel about her..and do you wanna take her away from them? I mean No she ISNT there MOTHER but she could still be an important part of their lives..


    Answer by SweetPoison at 9:19 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • you can make rules in the custody agreement, but the gov has NO right to say that single parents cant date, um, is the child supposed to meet the new so after they get married??

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • I'm not defending her but he has a right to have a relationship with anyone he wants. Does he have fully custody of your child? If she is harming your child or has drugs or "clients" in the home while the child is there you can call cps.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:27 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • i didnt mean to make it come across as if she did those things, but just bc she DOESNT do them , doesnt mean she should be around...i was told NOT to make any custody agreements bc then things are more lax and keep me in control. I doubt he will agree to not having her around when he has the child since she does live in the same residence. I just would rather he have him when shes at work or something. I do have full legal and physical custody, although he will probably be petitioning that soon enough...and my child hasnt met her yet.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Do you have a boyfriend or husband around this child? Does that person hate you ex? If the mom can date and move guys in and out I don't see why dad can't. You made kids with him and will have to be a grown up and find a way to deal with her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Well that is the thing, I have said that I would hold to that standard too..especially for overnights which are most concerning. I will not live with a man until i am married, but since he is living with a women then I am requesting no overnights until they are married. just bc they have an unstable immature relationship where they throw things out the window, so its not like i want to be putting up with a girl who isnt even going to be around that long. its unfair. marriage though, its a committment and is different. Im not a problem in the situation though bc i dont put my child around anything he should be around.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

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