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do you ever ask yourself "why did I get married"....? I did recently....

my Dh is 24 and although he works during da week thats allllll he does. I feel like I still do everything I was doing b4 I got married. I just got him to faithfully take out the trash. But everything from the maintenance of the carS to fixing broken things around the house I DO!! So you can imagine how pissed off I stay. When I start doing something he comes and ask me why I didnt ask him, and I have already asked him 2-3 times b4 I give up and do it myself. I feel like all he does is pay the bills and f*&$ me. 2nite I had to fix the broken toilet seat becuz his azz is sitting down watching the game. Something(maybe a bird) crawled up our dryer shut and died and ive asked him for 4 weeks to clean it out (so it looks like Ill be doing that 2nite). i dont wanna lose respect for him but geeze hes not really giving me nothing to work with. I talk to him, fuss, cuss but nothing seems to work. I AM TIRED!! pls help!

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on Jan. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • He's not gonna change. You best get used to it. Just accept the fact that if you don't do it, it won't get done. Hire repairmen and make sure he sees the bills. But seriously..they don't change.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 9:34 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Go on strike, only do stuff for you and the kids and screw all else don't cook for him clean for him do his laundry or anything he might catch a clue then.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 9:35 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Hmmm. Still early on in the marriage. You need to teach him how to treat you, but it is wonderful that he is working. At least he doesn't make you do all the working too.

    Answer by lowencope at 9:38 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Allergic2stupid is wrong.

    Almost every women goes through this with their husband. Sometimes, rarely, but sometimes it's the other way around.
    You need to sit him down with the TV off and explain to him that he has responsibilities in the household. You are happy to do things as long as he's doing his share. Explain to him how you're unhappy doing everything yourself while he gets to relax and do whatever it is he wants. It takes a lot to get through the thick skull of some men, but believe me I know from experience that it can happen. My husband used to be like yours ever since we got together. He was soo used to doing everything himself that he gave up all responsibility when I took over. At first I thought "I'm finally letting him take a break" then I realized that was a bad idea. He turned into a total bum. I made sure everyday he knew how uncool it was. He eventually got it.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:38 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • You put:  I feel like I still do everything I was doing b4 I got married. 
    Why would you think things would change just because you got married?? I love being married, but I didn't think anything would change other than legally, and our commitment is stronger of course. But, activities, especially if you were living together beforehand are pretty much the same.
    However, it is still early in your marriage, and he can be trained. It just takes a lot of time and patience. It helps if you do it in such a way to make him think it was his idea.


    Answer by Pnukey at 9:52 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Just be lucky he isnt cheating. im a stay at home wife i do everything cook clean. i do expect him to take the trash and thats it.

    Answer by bmdred at 10:02 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • He's being a jerk. A passive aggressive jerk. Don't put up with it. Let him know that until he pulls his weight, he can do his own laundry and cooking, etc. and FOLLOW THROUGH.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Well excuse me for giving my opinion. Someone best remind me that I don't know what I'm talking about...I've only been with my DH since I was 15...but what do I know....

    I hope he changes...but in my experience they don't.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 1:07 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

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