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Ex wants our visitation plan changed - what to do?

My daughter is almost 2 yrs old. Her dad and I came up with a visitation plan and it has been in place since Aug 2008. It was a step up plan meaning at first he saw her for a few hours at a time and 6 months ago we started the standard every other weekend and every other wednesday. He chose this. I agreed to it.

I was just sent court papers saying he wants to make changes. He is asking for more frequent/and more visits. He wants every other weekend and every mon from 530-830 and every wed 530-830. I told him that 3 hour windows like that are not in the best interest of our daughter. She is not a baby anymore, she is comfortable going with him.

I offered every wednesday from 530 until Thurs morning - he could drop her off on his way to work. He doesn't want this. Basically he doesn't want to deal with overnights when he has to get up in the morning for work

What are the chances the judge will grant his plan?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:01 PM on Jan. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • Unless you can give them reasons why it WOULDN'T be good for her I don't see why the judge wouldn't ok it. Sooo you best come up with some good reasons!

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 11:06 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Most likely the judge will find this a reasonable request and grant it to him. Honestly, I know it's a pain and not what you want, but I would look at the positive side of things. There are SO many kids out there who have fathers that want nothing to do with him. The fact that he even took the initiative to see his daughter more says a lot and I would give him some credit for that. Good luck!

    Answer by Comfycozy77 at 11:22 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • how is this reasonable?? all he wants is to play with his daughter for 3 hours. he doesnt want the responsibility of putting her to bed at night and having to get up with her in the middle of the night like i do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • What he is asking for sounds like a pretty straight forward plan. And at least he wants to spend time with her and not ingore her like my dad did.

    Answer by phantomphan at 12:14 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • It is very likely that unless you can prove it is not in her best interst His request will be granted

    Answer by freedomthinks at 12:35 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • why is his request better than my request? he knows that i work monday evenings and that our daughter goes with me (i'm a nanny.) I work 30 miles away yet he thinks that I should be home at 5:30 for him to pick up daughter and I should pick her up at 8:30 at his house. This is unreasonable. I would have to quit my job. You mean to tell me that my schedule isn't important? Why is his schedule more important than mine? If he really wanted to see his daughter he would offer to come pick her up where I work and bring her back to where I work. All he wants is control and what works for him. I'm offering him an extra overnight every week with his daughter. That's not fair?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • He'll win by default if you don't contest it but I agree with him. At her age I think it's best to do it the way he set it up. I wouldn't want him keeping her over night.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:59 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Tell the judge exactly that: You cannot abide by his request because it will cause you to lose your job, and that if he would pick her up & drop her off, you would be happy to accept the change. Also tell him that you offered the Wednesday overnight, but he refused. The judge will probably ask him why he refused the overnight idea, & he'll end up looking like a jackass ;-) I really doubt a judge would expect you to make a visitation schedule that is not compatible with your job, especially when there are alternatives available.
    I think what you are offering is a very fair alternative to what he wants. It seems to me that if he REALLY wanted to see his daughter, he would offer to make transportation arrangements. In my state, the transportation arrangements are generally the responsibility of the non-custodial parent... that might be something to look into.
    Good luck!

    Answer by emslala at 6:51 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Why would you have to leave your job to have him pick up your daughter? Why can't he just pick her up wherever she is (day care, baby sitter)? That doesn't make sense to me. He can pick up at the start of visitation and you can pick up at the end.
    I think his request is reasonable, though I do think a judge would consider your compromise too.

    Answer by littlevic at 7:35 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

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