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Riddle Me This: Why is it okay to... one's child a bed time story...
...have a bathing routine before bed...

as a means to take time to wind the child/baby to sleep for bed time, but it is "spoiling" and a "bad habit" and "behavior that needs to be broken" to nurse or rock a baby to sleep? What does it matter if it takes 20 minutes to nurse to sleep if it takes 20-30 minutes for a substituted routine?

Why is one time consuming routine okay and another baaaaddddd! Isn't it silly to trade one routine for another? They won't want nursing or rocking forever so why should I cave to modern norms?

Answer Question

Asked by amileegirl at 11:51 PM on Jan. 16, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 18 (6,213 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • aactually they may want to be rocked to sleep forever. I used to nurse and rock my child to sleep and it took me forever to get him to just lay down and go to sleep. I tried everything. to say the least I did it differently with the next baby

    Answer by mom2snsb at 11:54 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • Not being mean or anything, but I couldn't find a replacement to come in and lactate for me. I could have someone else read a story or sing a song if I'm not around to do it, but nursing requires me. I'd just as soon have my kids be able to unwind with or without me there then have to be in their presence until they fall asleep.

    Answer by GothicMommy3 at 11:58 PM on Jan. 16, 2010

  • I found that rocking my daughter to sleep led to a terrible habit that was hard to break her of. It kept her from being able to soothe herself to sleep b/c she then depended on me to help her get to sleep.

    The difference between the two routines is just that. The older children you are doing things before they go to bed and then walking away and they get themselves to sleep. The baby you are having to hold until it falls asleep.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • It sounds to me like the decision to rock your child to sleep is more for your sake than your childs. It is not in their best interest and in the end it doesn't matter what YOU LIKE, it's what is good for them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • BUt is it more that it is not in the childs best interest or is it that the parent gets tired of doing it? Why is it in cultures where children are carried around all the time, all develop good sleep patterns just fine -- but american children must be broken?

    It is confounding.

    Answer by amileegirl at 12:13 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Well, I rocked my first son. I said I didn't care what "they" say, if he wanted to be rocked until he was 10, I would do it. AND we always read a story first - from the time he was tiny. Then the 2nd baby came along. It was a bit more difficult cuz he still wanted to be rocked, but we both enjoyed it so much. My 2nd didn't want to be rocked, so I just put her in bed and she was fine. NOW they are 9 and 7 and my 2nd one is the one who has a hard time sleeping. Go figure. So I say do what YOU want to do. You are the mom and if you want that extra special time bonding with your baby, go ahead. They will eventually grow out of it. I now have a 16 month old and I rock him every night too. Just be prepared for the commitment. My dh rarely gets to rock him because he wants mommy. If I'm not here, he's fine, but if I am anywhere around, he has to have me.

    Answer by mama2000_1 at 12:57 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I think the thing with rocking is that they becoming accustomed to YOU doing it. As children get older, bath time becomes something they can learn to do on their own. A bedtime book is no biggie either. Once they learn to read, a parents could have them take turns reading until it is something the child can do on his/her own. A child can't rock himself to sleep (being held that it)

    I think the nursing part also starts to affect the teeth. If they nurse to sleep, the milk can settle on their teeth and cause damage.

    Personally, to each parent their own style. My daughter's routine is bath, bottle, give kisses, put her in her crib, turn on her music player (plays lulibies for 15 minutes), give her her blankie and I leave the room. Unless she's sick or over tired, she lays down instantly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Kids will outgrow the need to nurse or rock to sleep... may not be on your timetable, but it WILL happen. My 10 month old has been nursed to sleep from birth and is just recently nursing, then rolling over to fall asleep on his own. His brother wasn't ready to go to sleep without nursing until he was 2... and you know what? That was okay with me. He still needs someone with him to fall asleep and that's just the way he is, he'll outgrow it eventually. Spending 20-30 minutes of my day cuddling with my children until they fall asleep is not too much to ask and I know he'll be done with it before jr high.

    Oh, and others have not had trouble putting either of my boys to sleep on the off chance I wasn't able to do it (date night, etc...). Kids are adaptable, I wouldn't trade the time spent and time invested because it means I am the main one doing bedtime. I'm mom, that's what we do.

    Answer by LeanneC at 2:48 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Depending on the age of the children you are talking about here, there is no difference. Now if the child is beyond the toddler years or in college, maybe then there is an issue with wanting mommy to rock him to sleep. (yes I'm kidding a little bit)

    Just make sure you are doing whatever you do for the child and not for YOU. Children NEED to learn to soothe themselves to sleep. I didn't get that early enough and my child paid the price for it. Don't do that to yours.

    Having a bedtime routine makes it easier for the child to transition from play to sleep. And if gives you a few extra snuggles you may have missed during the day take advantage of those. Before you know it, that child will be in college and saying 'nite nite mommy I wooov yous!" will be the last thing on his mind. Enjoy it while you can and try not to blink it away.

    Answer by SimplyLaine at 6:51 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • i think as a mom, you have to do what what works for you. some say co sleeping develops habits that are hard to break, but i never had a hard time getting my kids in their own beds. i nursed all my kids to sleep too! i never found my rocking chair very comfortable, so i never really rocked my kids. my sil did the bath and music, then rocked and nursed him!

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 8:11 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

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