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How many times a day can you handle your son telling you he hates you, he wishes you werent his mom and that he wishes he was never born? Long story short i cant take it anymore.

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pattybratt

Asked by pattybratt at 12:09 AM on Jan. 17, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (14)
  • I say give it back to him and see how he likes it, also after that just ignore him he doesnt mean it he is just trying to get a reaction out of you so don't give him one. I am sorry this is happening and if you need to talk PM me.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 12:11 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • look at baby pictures with him.

    this too shall pass, keep being a good mom and he will apologize when he's in his twenties
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 12:11 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I would do precisely what the above poster said IGNORE HIM. He is trying to drive you nuts and obviously it's working. You just calmly walk away. Stop doing anything for him. Do not do his laundry, do not cook for him, do not even tell him when dinner is... do not speak to him. At some point he will figure out what you are doing and try to get back to good. It's something you have to do in order to gain back control. Right now, he has it. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I would put him in therapy... maybe he has some anger issues to work out. Or maybe he needs some medication to help him with aggression, depression, etc. Something is bothering him and he is pushing you to do something. Unless you want to give him up for adoption (which I am not recommending), you need to provide him with a stable enviornment.
    sonnalynn

    Answer by sonnalynn at 3:07 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I would say whatever he is wanting that you aren't letting him have/do...keep it up! If you raise a child to adulthood and never hear them say they hate you, then you missed a step someplace! They've THOUGHT it, if they don't say it. They're kids! It's what they DO.

    I would also consider that to be part of the behavior that I don't like and if Mama don't like it, it GOES. So just tell him that you know he doesn't mean it, You know he is just upset with you for not letting him have his way and when he's older and has his own children, he will fully understand your reasons. But until then you are still his mother and he doesn't have to like your decisions but he is required to accept them and be respectful of you while doing it.

    Let him talk about his feelings, get it all out there. Don't dismiss them, but listen. Then explain you are the parent and you have to do what is best, not what is most fun. This will pass. GL
    SimplyLaine

    Answer by SimplyLaine at 6:12 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • My daughter has a few times said I Hate you , in anger. I just told her, that's ok, I LOVE you. So along with the previous suggestions, when he says this, you might try telling him...well I'm glad you were born and I LOVE you.
    meriana

    Answer by meriana at 10:16 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I IGNORE it. I also tell my son that I can arrange for him to live in foster care if he thinks he has it so bad at home. That usually shuts him up...fast.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:56 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Thank you for all your suggestions but hes already in therepy already on meds. and im very good at ignoring event ell him i love him when he tells me he hates me. But after awhile it gets old and tireing.

    pattybratt

    Answer by pattybratt at 2:48 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I would hug him and tell him how much you love him
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:02 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I had to take my son to therapy to get him to be confident enough to say he hated me. It's ok to have valid feelings even if they are of hate, it's sad but remember that these are his issues not your's. Once my son explained himself it turned out he hated what I did (married his step father) not me as a person. Sometimes kids don't know exactly how to express themselves. Encourage him to share more of his feelings and why he feels that way. I think you will find out it's not as bad as it sounds once he can express himself.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:24 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

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