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Did the teacher call my kid a spoiled brat?

My kindergarten son has been having a lot of problems with getting his work done at school. I personally think it is because my son is very smart and the work is beneath his level and that the teacher is not challenging him. However, in the phone conversation the teacher asked what my expectations are at home with independent chores. I feel that five is too young for chores, so I told the teacher that he doesn't have chores. The teacher responded that part of his difficulty may stem from not having responsibility at home. The teacher also told me that my son cried last week when he didn't get the toy he wanted from the class treasure box. The teacher said that this behavior was "typical for an overindulged child." Does that mean spoiled brat? Should I go to the principal? My son is not a spoiled brat.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Jan. 17, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (73)
  • I would take the advice, but I wouldn't let it bother you. I think a lot of the times parents protect thier kids moreso than they should because they are thier children. But ask yourself, would you be open to investigate the possibility?
    IMO, 5 is not too young to have simple chores, like pick up your toys, make your bed, and help set the table.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • It actually sounds like you may be babying him. At five he can clean up his toys or his room. And every parent wants to think that their child is smarter than the work they have. If he's not getting his work done than you need to talk to him instead of saying he's to smart for it. If you go to the principal he's going to say the same thing as the teacher.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 11:27 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • No, I wouldn't go to the principal about that, talk to the teacher instead and ask her why she thinks your son in overindulged and if he is not explain that to her. Honestly when children that age cry over not getting what they want, many of times they will cry. My daughter had a friend like this, she is now 13 and still insist on getting her way, her mom is having a hard time with her, she is the youngest of 5 kids and the only girl. I guess her father spoils her. My daughter who was friends with her since kindergarten, did not want to hang out with her anymore when they were in 3rd grade, they only live a couple of houses away and just ignore each other now. The mom blames her spoildness on her dad, but in my opinion it is both of them.

    Answer by staceynoel at 11:28 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Our boys have had age appropriate chores since they could bend over and pick up a toy. There's nothing wrong with learning to take care of their own things, and being responsible for them. Our boys love it when they get praise for a job well done. They are 13, 7 and 6 yrs old and it help me so much that they help out around the house. We are a unit and if we don't work together it creates chaos...
    I don't think she was trying to say you have a spoiled brat, I think she just didn't use the correct wording. I think you will see a different child if you give him some responsibility, age appropriate of course. Our 6 yr old, picks up his room, makes his bed, puts shoes away, takes the laundry to the laundry room, and helps empty the dishwasher with his 7 yr old brother. He also has to feed the dogs every morning. The reward he gets for all of his hard work is praise and playing the wii, or getting to play ..

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:38 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • i agree with the three previous posters. Five is definately not too young to be cleaning up after ones self. I try to have my 18 month old clean up after herself. Obviously, she doesn't do a very good job and requires me to help her the whole time, but by me showing her what she should do with toys when she is done with them she will learn to pick up more as she gets older. I know at a daycare i worked at they always had the children from one year up learning to pick up after themselves. Obviously 5 is too young to take the trash out, do the dishes or mow the lawn, but there are jobs. he could help you with dishes, clean his room, make his bed (it wouldn't be perfect, but an effort), take his plate from the table when done, etc. And although yes she did basically say that he was spoiled, that doesn't merit talking to principal. if anything you should thank her for the wake up call.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:42 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I would not bring the principal into it. She did nothing wrong and there is nothing he can do. No your child is not to young to do chores.

    Here is a list of age apporirate chores to help you out.

    "I personally think it is because my son is very smart and the work is beneath his level and that the teacher is not challenging him." If you really think this. Have him tested so they can make the apporitate move. One of my sisters was very smart and they moved her up a level so she was not bored.

    Answer by Raeann11 at 11:44 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • maybe your sons does have chores, but you don't really consider them chores? my kids put their own dishes in the sink- that is chore- if it wasnt I would be doing it. They put their clothes in the hamper-hang up their coats and put their boots in the basket. When they ask to help vaccuum I let them. If they are around when I fold clothes they put their socks, undies, and PJ's in their own drawers- I am sure your child does something that would count as a chore, but we don't officially call it "chore" KWIM?


    Answer by Tnamari at 12:13 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I agree with everyone else. The sooner you begin giving him responsibilities around the house, the better your life will be later on. There is no reason he can't pick up his toys, wipe the sink out after brushing his teeth, help unload the dishwasher, feed the pets or whatever you decide. My 2 year old picks up his own toys and clothes!

    He may very well be too smart for the work at school, but I wouldn't be offended by the teacher's comment. I would take it in stride and give your son a little more responsibility at home and see if that doesn't help. Raise your expectations a bit.

    Answer by RutterMama at 12:14 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • My daughter who is 3 has "chores" and has for a long while, but these "chores" are simply cleaning up toys, putting her dirty clothes in the hamper, and sometimes helping feed the cats, all which she does very well. Maybe start small, if he doesn't do any of this. I think kids should at least pick up toys. Helps with learning responsibility.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I have to agree with the teacher and the ladies. He is not too young to be doing chores. He is also too old to be crying over not getting a toy he wanted. By now he should know how to share. Listen to the teacher. She's right.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 12:19 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

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