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my SO thinks i should just sit at home

ill be 13 weeks pregnant tomorrow, and my boyfriend wont let me go anywhere without him. he thinks that as long as im carrying his child, i dont get to have a life, even if its just to go to a broadway show at the civic center. i just dont think that this is fair, and i told him that if he isnt going to let me hang out with my friends outside of the house, then i should stop working. i work at a daycare, and the way i see it.. if i cant sit at a show, then i shouldnt be at work where i pick up kicking and screaming toddlers all day.. he didnt have anything to say about this.. kind of just got quiet.. i really dont like how controlling he is being. i know he just doesnt want anything to go wrong, but i can still have a life.

suggestions??? :[

-- bored at home --


Asked by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Jan. 17, 2010 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I'm sure your a smart woman, you know what you can handle and what you cant. This is not the time to quit your job if you dont have to, and just to prove a point is not a good reason. Take it easy and assure him you will be alright. Maybe go somewhere that's not so busy and dont stay for a very long time to show him you'll be ok and that you are thinking and acting responsible..Lets see how that goes,GOOD LUCK and CONGRATS!!!!!

    Answer by themrs.murray at 8:48 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Your boyfriend is possessive and I would leave him immediately.


    Answer by SaraP1989 at 11:28 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Do not let your SO tell you what to do. You are not his position. Go do what you want. Go some where, get a job, whatever you want.

    Answer by louise2 at 11:30 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • yeah....he can't tell you what to to do. go do what you want. i wouldn't leave immediately at this point because as you said he is probably freaking out thinking of the baby and all, but if he continues to get upset and trying to control you, i would definately leave. he should trust you to make smart decisions for your child. and i would not quit your job no matter how frustrating he is getting to you. that job is an out if you do need one.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:35 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Um... suggestions... YES GET A NEW BOYFRIEND NOW!!! He sucks. Your life is your life, not his.. regardless.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • did he do this before you were preggo too? that's kinda crazy that your letting him tell you where and when you can go places etc.....crazy!!!! I wouldn't over do it but you need to have a life, because once your little one is here, it'll be a lot harder to get up and go!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • he was definitely not like this before we got pregnant... before, i did whatever i wanted... i dont want to leave him because i know he is just worried, but i still need to have a life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • The first thought that came into my mind was how's he going to act when your baby is born? I mean once your kid is here is he going to get so overprotective you can't leave the house til he's 5? If my SO said "NO you may not do this" or anything akin to that I would have a conversation with him about how he is not my parent, I am not a child, and he does not dictate what I do/do not do.. The argument you made for "well, then I guess I shouldn't be working either!" doesn't help your situation because it is validating his need to control you and validating that he can choose what you can/cannot do. I would tell him I'm going to do what I want to, and then folllow through and do whatever I wanted (ie: go out, go see friends, go to the show you want to see) and if he has a problem with it I'd leave him. Be very careful tho, some very controlling men will lash out with violence, especially with a child involved.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • The women here are warning you because men that are worried about their wives say "I am worried about you". This is not what our hubby's/SO's do and it is very abnormal behavior...

    Men can start displaying controlling/domineering behavior at any point -- just because he wasn't this way before doesn't mean he can't get worse. You MUST NOT let this pattern continue. Abusers don't usually think in their head "I'm going to become more and more controlling until it escalates into violence".. You have to stop this pattern now -- if it cannot be stopped you must leave.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Tell him stress and lack of exercise and unhappiness in general can negatively affect a pregnancy. Living in a bubble is not going to help. For all he knows the floor could randomly cave in and you could fall, or God has other plans, etc.. Thinking "what if, what if" and "worse case scenario" constantly -- is not good or healthy. You just have to put your faith in God/whatever you believe in and hope for the best.. You can eat nutritionally, exercise, try to de-stress, drink plenty of water, get plenty of protein, and still lose a baby OR have a healthy pregnancy/child OR have an issued pregnancy OR have a special child. I mean. the what if's are a million and living like the next car ride is going to be a disaster or the music vibrations are going to get into your uterus and hurt the baby.. is.. ridiculous and he sounds like he may need therapy/medication for anxiety.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Jan. 17, 2010