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What is wrong with these boys? They are my neighbors sons and the mom doesn't know what to do with them?

They are 24, 22, and 20. The 20 year old is fine so far. The 24 year old graduated a couple of years ago with a 5 year degree in Architecture. After gradution he lived home and hasn't done anything since. He just stays home and plays video games all day. The 22 year old goes to Virginia Tech and should have graduated last spring. He ended up screwing up in some of his classes and had to do another semester, well he screwed up again and is now on academic suspension. The grandmother told the mom that her sons need counseling and I agree. I think the parents are way to soft on them and need to put their foot up their ass.


Asked by staceynoel at 12:26 PM on Jan. 17, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 12 (852 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • Men like time lines. Have mom ask each one to provide her with a timeline of what they want to do with their life. That way she has an idea of how to guide them to help them attain their goal and get off their backsides. Enabling them is NOT helping them grow and become responsible men or productive members of society. She's actually hurting them by allowing them to act this way. No mother wants to hurt her child.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:30 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • no, they are grown men and need to be out on their own. The mom needs to stop taking care of them as if they were 10 years younger. As to your reference that they need counseling, no clue there, what you posted is just laziness IMO and counseling won't help that.

    But you know what, it doesn't really matter. They aren't your kids, it's not your place to tell the mom what to do. Worry about your own kids! They have issues from what I've seen of "your" questions that "they" posted!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Oh also, none of them have ever worked

    Answer by staceynoel at 12:31 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I think its funny how people answer your questions then add mind your own business.....Really? Anyways I think its time for some tough love. She needs to let them go.

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 12:32 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Actually anon, this mother always talks to me about this, my personal opinion would be to kick them out, but I would never tell her that. I asked this question to see what other people think, hoping someone would have good advice on what I could say to this mother.

    Answer by staceynoel at 12:33 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Why does it matter to you? Is it affecting your life? If this was a problem you were having I could see giving advice, but it's about your neighbor, maybe she should be the one asking the question. Does she know how concerned you are? Maybe offer her the thoughts you have on it, instead of posting her business on here.... JMO don't get all worked up.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:35 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Maybe I should post anon and then I will get more serious answers, I guess I stepped on someones toes.

    Answer by staceynoel at 12:36 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Stacy, just because someone talks to you about their problems doesn't mean they want or need your advice, or need you to do something about it. It's theirs to deal with not yours. You can listen to someone without being involved or passing judgement.
    Putting yourself out there never works and usually causes resentments.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • anon 38,,,,,,,,,that doesn't make sence and doesn't everyone on here judge people.

    Answer by staceynoel at 12:40 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I have to agree with anon, people complain about things to me all the time, it's not for me to handle. I have my own issues to work on with my own children....thats plenty for me.

    Answer by Steff107 at 12:40 PM on Jan. 17, 2010