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Dont Know What To do!!!

im to the point of tears my hubby just ignores me for the most part when i try to talk about this stuff so i figured i would get some advice here. he is acting like we are just friends living in the same house even though we are married its so hard for me .. we hardly ever have sex and everytime i touch him rather it be trying to hug him . kiss him. or even touch his hair he tells me not to touch him all i want to do is cry because i dont know when things went wrong and why they are like this now!! .. we have had 3 kids in the last 3 yrs and of course i have put on some weight and its to the point i asked him if he doesnt want me touching him because he thinks im nasty looking now and he wont even answer me!! .. im so lost i dont know what to do ... what to say ... or how to act! advice is welcome!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Jan. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • A year or so back I lost my confidence in myself and asked SO similar questions and he did the same thing, wouldn't answer me. I was hurt for a while then realized I needed to get back where I was (as a person) when we met. This isn't about weight or looks. It's about our self esteem and confidence in ourselves. Once we lose that we tend to get emotionally needy and do what SO calls cling. He hates that. He likes it when I'm strong and confident and believe in myself. I had a hard time getting back to that spot. I was having medical issues and was worn down with pain but it was important to fix things between me and SO so I worked on my health and worked on believing in myself again. You are strong and wonderful. You brought in to this world 3 wonderful babies. Make note of all your good qualities and stand tall. He will be attracted to that. If you get weak just hold out your hand. One of us will grab you. U can do this.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:16 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Unfortunately, you cannot change your husband. BUT, by not answering you, he did give you an aswer. Just in a passive aggressive sort of way. Basically, your husband is being a jerk. It's time to quit crying and stand up for yourself. Put him on notice that you will not allow him to disrespect you anymore. That your children see how he treats you and he is teaching his children it is okay to disrespect their mother. Carry yourself with dignity and respect and accept nothing less from him. Don't cater to him treating you like dirt. You don't deserve it. Quit crying and get angry, dammit!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I am going through the same exact thing..I will keep you in my prayers!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Jan. 17, 2010




    We have ALL been through enough!

    This is a safe place that you can come to cry, vent or release your frustrations even if you are not ready to leave your abuser yet.


    Everyone here from the Group Owner to the Administrators have once walked in your shoes.
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    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 2:04 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

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