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how to deal with it when we have plans and step daughter calls and says she is coming and then our plans are cancelled.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Jan. 17, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (10)
  • u cant just say "we already have plans?"

    Answer by cakright at 3:51 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Talk to her parent about it Maybe it is more important at that moment . maybe he needs to stand up to her Idk you offer no details

    Answer by freedomthinks at 3:57 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • and she is 18 and doesn't work and does it when she knows i have plans.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Just tell her nicely that you have already made plans & that from now on she should call & arrange a visit so that you can make sure you are available. I wouldn't cancel my plans just because she called & announced she'd be coming over. She's not being very respectful of you, but if you cancel your plans every time she does this, you are in essence telling her that you don't deserve nor expect her respect. As Dr. Phil says, "You teach people how to treat you" by what you let them get away with.


    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 4:00 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • let her stay there while u guys go out. my stepson who lives with us fulltime,his mom is the same way,wont let him be there if no one is there. u have to give some one a chance and if they fu ck it up then u know not to do it again

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:33 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Tell her that you have already made plans. I would not cancel my plans for an adult child. She needs to learn to plan better and check your schedule before she visits.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:24 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I wish it were that easy, her dad thinks if he tells her no or makes her mad she won't come see him.My grandpa was in the hospital and we were going to go see him.Then she called and he went to get her and said i could go by myself. Is that right?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • You should go by yourself to see you Grandpa. Maybe she wanted time with her dad when you weren't there. In any event, you had a life before you met this guy and he is willing to let his daughter manipulate him. So you may be having a life AFTER this guy. I don't let people manipulate me like that. You want to invite me to something last minute, don't be surprised when I have other plans. And if you already knew I had other plans, well screw you!


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • He should have dragged her to the hospital with the both of you, even if he and his daughter just waited in the car of the cafeteria.  and yes it is that easy.  You just aren't the one making the decision, he is.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Why can't your step daughter stay at your home while you do your thing?? Maybe she wants to spend time with her father and I see no problem with that.  Why do Step parents make the parent feel like they have to choose.  This will always be your husbands daughter.  What does your husband want to do?? Can you invite your SD to come with??


    Answer by mommiedear at 12:32 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

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