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How do you get him to put a ring on it?

I have been with my man for 5 yrs and in may we are going to have our first child. I have 2 older children he is the only father they have ever known and I'm wanting to marry him but I don't think he will marry me cause he is comfortable I don't want to push him a way but I'm ready to take his last name and make it permanent. Help!!!!!


Asked by kaylacolesmom at 4:48 PM on Jan. 17, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • You know you are legally allowed to use any name you want, as long as it is not for fraudulent purposes, right? So, start using his name if that's what you want. You could also change your name legally, if you want to, and he can't stop you.

    I'd question why now? If it hasn't been a reason not to live together and not to have children together up to this point, why is it important to you *now* to be married?

    There is some magical thinking that surrounds marriage, starting with the 'happily ever after' story that has little connection to reality. It doesn't make anyone any more committed than they would be without the performance or the piece of paper. If you want to have a big party to celebrate your togetherness, don't wait for an invitation. If you want to own a stellar and expensive dress that you'll only ever wear once, pick one in any colour you like and buy it. None of that makes happy families.

    Answer by LindaClement at 5:09 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • It's time to get tough with him. I assume you all are living together right? thats why he is comfortable. Test him a bit. Firsts talk to him about marriage, than if he doesn't budge. Tell him your moving out, make it look real. Start talking about apartments you went to see and that you might take one of them. Than start moving your stuff to a family members house. He may wake up and realize that he doesn't want to be without you. If he goes after you and asks you to marry him, you have a keeper. If he allows you to proceed to move out, than he doesnt deserve you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:52 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Don't live with him unless he marries you. The day after the baby is born go down and file for support.

    Answer by Gailll at 4:53 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • Play that Beyonce song! I'm not bashing but giving them everything they would get in marriage but without the responsibility and commitment is wrong imho. Why would he want to marry when he has it all now? Ok, that said you can still tell him what's up. I didn't wait for my x to ask me. I just told him we're getting married and told him when and where. If he gives you a hard time then you can deal with it as you see fit but tell him it's important to you and that should be enough. Your child can have his last name anyway. Keep in mind you would have a different last name than your other children if you married. But it's all in what you want.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:56 PM on Jan. 17, 2010


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:56 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I agree with the first poster. If he's gotten away with not marrying you after this long, chances are that he wont. Talk to him and then get ready to make a drastic change.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 4:57 PM on Jan. 17, 2010

  • I love your answer mckenzie and yes blow jobs do lol.

    Answer by kaylacolesmom at 4:58 PM on Jan. 17, 2010