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My boyfriend hates my mom and vice versa. What do I do?

My mom is controlling (I live w/her). She basically told me I have to live by her rules while Im under her house (Im 26). I just want 2 be able to take care of my child but Im not financially capable at this time. I was going to get a place w/ my bf but he always says how frustraited he is w/ my mom, my insecurities, ect. I just dont feel like I have any control over how I raise my chld. She has guardianship & probably wont let me take my daughter when/if I move out. Its mentally (im bipolar) & physically draining being there. but at the same time I dont want to leave my daughter. I have always been dependent of my parents & I want to get independent & feel the only way is to move out. Do I move out, leave my daughter 4 awhile? is there any hope for me &my boyfriend if they hate eachother? If you can help message me (wizzyval7 on yahoo, wizzylax on aim) Thanks!

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:33 PM on Jun. 25, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • Tough decision. Since she has custody it's not easy to say which way you should go. But at 26 you should try to live on your own and prove you can care for your child without the help of your mother. If you feel you can't then it's best the child stays with your mom until you can support her financially. If your b/f can't get along with your mother, and you see yourself being around your mother a lot It doesn't look like the relationship will be easy. I don't know what else to say. You having a child who your mother has custody of makes it very difficult.

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 6:49 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • Do I think you should leave your daughter with your mom so you can live with your boyfriend? NO! You should get control of your own life... get a job, then get custody of YOUR daughter. If your boyfriend is supportive & sticks around, THEN you can worry about living with him and doing whatever you want after that. I don't mean to sound like I'm lecturing... but you're 26 and you need to get your priorities in order. Take care of that baby and yourself first!

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 7:22 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • I'd talk to your mom and tell her exactly how you feel. Tell her that you need to try to survive on your own because she won't be around forever and you'll be lost if you don't get out on your own before she passes away. Tell her you're not trying to get her out of your life or your daughter's life, you'll always need her. Ask her to help you get out on your own, to give you advice. It'll make her feel needed and she won't worry about you so much knowing that you'll come to her for help.
    Ask her to please try to get along with your boyfriend because you need him also to help you financially and emotionally when you move out. If she refuses to let you take your daughter, move out anyway and once you get settled and prove you can make it on your own, try to get custody back. It may be the only way you can get out if she refuses to give up custody.

    Answer by jon6pat at 10:06 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

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