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He's not just crying it out, he SCREAMS it out!!

I need some advice. I have just started the crying it out with my 7 month old tonight,and he did ok for the 1st 5 mins now he's screaming and has really worked himself up. I keep going in there to pat his back to calm him and it works till i stop. I'm getting really upset. How should I go about this.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on Jan. 17, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (17)
  • What works best for me, if dd decides to throw a tantrum after I've gotten her to bed, is to go in there, leaving the lights off, get her up and calm her down, maybe play some music, maybe rock, maybe walk a little. After she relaxes she's usually pretty tired and goes right to sleep for me. Repeat as needed. Also, make sure you follow the same bedtime routine every night and react the same way every time he wakes up/throws a fit. We also had to watch for when she got tired, then build her bed time routine around that timeframe. She gets changed, diaper and clothes to pjs, then she gets story/playtime, then her music goes on and overhead light goes off, she nurses for a little bit, her lamp goes off and we rock/walk some, then she goes into her crib with Pooh.
    preacherskid

    Answer by preacherskid at 12:06 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Some kids just don't do well with CIO, if it works for others, that's great! My son didn't do well, he would scream all night long even with me going in every 5-10 mins. All it did was stress me out and him out. If I had just done what I felt I should have done and not listened to everyone else when they were saying he HAD to sleep in his own bed. Looking back, I regret fighting with him and letting him cry for so long. Just wish I had someone tell me back then that it just wasn't that big of a deal to not CIO because it wasn't.

    That was my worst moment of parenting because I was so stressed out by letting him CIO. If it doesn't work, don't force it. JMO. But it's worth a try! Oh and around 7 months is when they start having separation anxiety so it's probably not a good time to start CIO....I really think that was our problem because my son was 8 months when tried!
    all4mymarine

    Answer by all4mymarine at 1:50 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Yeah, i don't like that method at that age they don't understand it yet.. i'd just go in there rock the baby for a little bit and after all this crying he should go right out.. sry
    Jan0609momma

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 1:58 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Too young!!! That poor baby feels so alone and abandoned.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:48 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • OMG! Alone and Abandoned!!! She didnt ask you what you thought about CIO!!! She asked how to get it to work with her child! I did CIO with my son at 20 weeks :o) YEAH THATS RIGHT 20 WEEKS! And I found that now as he reaches 1 (11months) he has become a screamer :o) There is just so much to do! Get into that and go ver there. Too busy to sit still.when my son screams(which almost never happens, unless he wants Daddy) I send his Daddy in to lay him back down... He is screaming becuase he knows after all this time being your baby that it is the best way to get you to come to him. They get it. They get that if they throw there toy out the high chair you will get it for him, so he does it over and over... :o) Check out parents.com It really helped me :o) They have great stories about it working and other types of CIO methods that may work better for you Mom... Just Stick to it.. Dont give in once or you will be back 2 square 1.
    ashley_hatty

    Answer by ashley_hatty at 7:32 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Oh and pease e-mail me if you have any ?'s!!! I would love to help you more :o)

    Congrats on trying! It takes a strong Mommy to get it done :o)

    And just so you know My son is a happy, giggley, loving and well attached baby. No issues at all with feeling alone and abandoned. He only cries now maybe 3 times a MONTH :o)
    ashley_hatty

    Answer by ashley_hatty at 7:35 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I dont agree with CIO at any age but especially not that young..... he is just a tiny little guy and I dont care what anyone says, he does not yet have the capabilities to understand what you are trying to do, all he understands is that you put him in his crib, alone and left and wont come back when he cries, that is ALL he understands and yeah, he may eventually cry himself to sleep but thats after he crys so much he finally realizes that no one is going to come comfort him, esentially, he is loosing hope...kinda sad if you aks me :(

    Have you read the book The No Cry Sleep Solution? Its a MUCH better way to go about helping your baby to sleep instead of leaving him to cry. I did cry it out ONE time with my oldest ( I have 3) and she cried so hard she threw up, and this was only after about 10 min. so I never did it again :( BUT, the no cry sleep solution is VERY helpful!!!!! Rent it from your library and give it a read!
    jlizgar

    Answer by jlizgar at 8:09 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • and OP, instead of reading anecdotal advice from parents.com try looking at some medical studies....its been shown that when a baby that young is left to cry like that it is actually damaging to his brain development....thats the truth sadly.....yes, they do eventually develop cause and effect and yes they do get to understand that if they do this then mom will do that....but at 7 months I firmly believe he does not understand being left in his room alone at night with no comfort. Have you tried co sleeping with him to see if it helps him sleep better? It may help YOU sleep better if nothing else and thats what you need right, sleep! Ive co slept with all my babies and never had any issues, they all eventually move on to their own beds when they are ready. This too shall pass mama, just remember that he is just a tiny baby.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:15 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • ferber method... Pediatrician Richard Ferber is the director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children's Hospital in Boston. Since the publication of his book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems in 1985, he's become known as a leading expert on children's sleep.

    Ferber's method for teaching babies to soothe themselves to sleep. Not to teach them to sleep all night... That will come with soothing after (in the far future).
    ashley_hatty

    Answer by ashley_hatty at 8:41 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • In a nutshell, Ferber says you can teach your baby to soothe himself to sleep when he's physically and emotionally ready, usually sometime between 4 and 6 months of age. He recommends following a warm, loving bedtime routine and then putting your baby in bed awake and leaving him (even if he cries) for gradually longer periods of time. Putting a child to bed awake, says Ferber, is crucial to successfully teaching him to go to sleep on his own.

    Parents are instructed to pat and comfort their baby after each predetermined period of time, but not to pick up or feed their baby. This routine is called "progressive waiting." The suggested waiting time, which Ferber charts in his book, is based on how comfortable you are with the technique, how many days you've been using it, and how many times you've already checked on your child that night.


    ashley_hatty

    Answer by ashley_hatty at 8:42 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

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