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Bad feelings, am I wrong?

I love my husband very much, let me just point that out first. He just took a new job and he told me he would be gone for 2, 3 weeks at the most and that would be really rare. He showed me how much money he would make and what it would take to make it. He has now been gone for 4 weeks and has only been making half of what he thought he would and is making $200 less a week from his previous job he quit to go into this new job. I'm actually really MAD about this. We have 3 kids and this has been stressful financially and being home w/out any help too. I'm mad because he's never home and doesn't even make enough money to make it worth it, not that money replaces him, but hopefully you get the point. I feel like he made a bad choice when I specifically told him I would trust him to make the right choice for our family. He was better off at his old job where he was home more. Is it mean of me to feel this way?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Jan. 18, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Mean of you? No, you feel what you feel and you have every right to your feelings no matter what they are. He may be dissapointed in the way things are working out too and may be missing you and feeling bad about it all just like you to him about your feelings without placing the blame on him and remember he is trying to do his best as a provider for your family and may feel awful for dissapointing you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • no i dont think so i would feel the same way

    Answer by keithamy06 at 2:39 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • OP here- I have felt bad to even think of saying anything to him for the reason that I'm sure he's feeling bad about the decision he made. He did this to ensure I could remain a stay at home mom and now it's looking like I may have to go to work. We are strong believers in a parent staying home with the kids whenever it's possible to avoid others raising your kids. I'm upset that I might loose that opportunity with my kids. I'm trying to not direct my anger at him, but at the situation instead. But now I'm seeing this job change as selfish and he just wanted to be his own boss. It's been really hard and I don't want to make him feel bad or like he can't provide for us, but at the same time I almost really want to tell him how angry I am that I was able to stay home when he was at his other job, it was just tight and now that he did this, I feel like he took that away from me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • i really think you need to talk to him about this, he might be as upset as you
    he might want to go back to the old job but doesnt know how, honestly just talk to him openly about how you feel

    Answer by cara124 at 9:38 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • No, you are right in feeling that way

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:07 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I would feel the same way, but I'm sure your dh realizes this now too. It won't help to be mad at him and say "I told you so" agreed to trust him, so just continue to trust him. Have faith that he will do the right thing.

    Answer by robyann at 10:50 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • No. I would feel the same way. But it would be mean if you try to put that in his face.

    Answer by wilesmomma at 11:18 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Is he a truck driver? Just wondering because mine is too :)
    Well, sounds like he tried out a new opportunity that promised to be better and its turning out to not be so great. I would just talk to him and tell him youre glad he tried but its really not working out...what are we going to do now. It can always be doesnt have to be permanent. Talk to him about it and see how he feels too. I'm sure the two of you can come up with something together.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 2:42 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • My DH took a job one time that was totally the wrong choice. Just let him know you'll stand by him if he wants to find something better. You have every right to be angry, talk to him! He may be just as disappointed as you are.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 6:59 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Why isn't it paying what it should? I have a friend whose man quit a job that paid REALLY good for one he thought would be better but it took well over a year and during that time he hardly made any money. A year later he's got Huge checks rolling in. Will it be better if you stick it out?

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 12:20 AM on Jan. 19, 2010