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Should i let him?

Recently i started talking with one of my guy friends from highschool, and we were catching up when he asked me if i would consider being his girl. Well i always have a thing for him since highschool, but since we were teammates i didn't want to go there because it would of messed up things on the team if we had. Well he knows i have a son, and that i am divorced. So i told him sure we could give things a try, granted that he is stationed in South Korea at the moment. Well i don't currently have a job, since i can't find anything that is willing to work around my sons therapy schedual. We my friend/new man is wanting to send me money to help support me an my son. I asked him why and he says since we are now a couple its his job to take care of me. He asked if i needed money and i said no. I told him i am able to pay my bills and get what i need to get but he says he wants to send me money anyways. Should i let him.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:52 AM on Jan. 18, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • If he is insistent open a separate account. If you don't need it let it sit. He will appreciate you built a nest egg that you can either use together or he can walk away with one day if it doesn't work out.
    Geminus

    Answer by Geminus at 4:19 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • If that is your man why wouldn't you want his help?
    officerdouglas

    Answer by officerdouglas at 6:09 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • This sounds kind of creepy.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:13 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • This is kind of a tough one. But in my opinion, I think you need to hold off on recieving financial support from him. You just started this relationship so I think that it's important to show him that you can stand on your own two feet without him sending you money. Even though, he's the one who offered, it might be possible for him to get sick of sending you money in the future and think that you're just using him. I would wait until you both have a better idea of where this relationship is going first before you accept any financial help from this guy.
    TattooedMommy04

    Answer by TattooedMommy04 at 6:15 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • OP- I wanted to discuss this with him further but he ended up having to go out in the field for 3 weeks so i won't be able to talk to him about it until he gets back to his base, but I did tell him i'm doing fine, on my own, and didn't need the money, I figured if he does start sending me money because he wants to i would open a separate savings account and just put the money in there this way if things don't work out i could just send him all his money back. We wont beable to see eachother until i come home on leave in december. so thats quite a ways off but he says he would love to meet my son and get to know him. He is hoping things work out since we used to get along great in school. He knows we've both changed and have grown up since then but he is very optimistic about us working out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:31 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • That sounds like that might be a good idea, if he just sends you the money regardless of you saying you didn't need it. I'm in the military too and I just know how military relationships and romances end up turning out sometimes. I just wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket if I were you. Just be careful and smart about it is all I'm saying. I wish you the best of luck.
    TattooedMommy04

    Answer by TattooedMommy04 at 6:43 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Yes. I've just read Steve Harvey's book, "Act like a Lady, think like a Man." One of the things he mentioned was that a real man wants to be a protector and provider for his lady and that women mistakenly reject this because we want to prove our own independence and financial stability. Of course it goes without saying, that once accepted, he'll believe you're his lady and will expect to receive the "cookie" as well.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 7:01 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I HONESTLY DON'T SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. HE'S OFFERING TO HELP. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE WITH HIM FOR THE MONEY CUZ YOU ARE SURVING WITHOUT HIS MONEY B4 HE GOT THERE. aT LEAST HE SEES YOUR TRYIN AND SEEING IT AS IF YOU ARE HIS GIRL HE FEELS HE NEEDS TO HELP. HONEY NOT EVERYMAN DOES THAT IN FEAR A WOMAN IS GON TO TAKE ADVANTAGE. TRUST THERE ARE A LOT OF MONEY HUNGRY WOMAN OUT THERE WHO WILL MILK A GUY DRY JUST BECAUSE THEY FEEL THEY DON'T HAVE TI USE THEIR OWN MONEY. i WOULD SAY LET HIM BUT DON'T FEEL IF HE DOES THAT HE HAS U LIKE A PUPPET BECAUSE YOU ARE TAKING THE MONEY. MY MAN OFFERS TO HELP WITH THINGS INVOLING MONEY, HELP WITH BILLS, DIAPERS, LAUNDRY, BABYSSITTING, WATEVA.. BUT THE WAY I WAS RAISED IS YOU CAN DO BAD ALL BY YOURSELF. BUT AT THE SAME TIME EVERYONE NEEDS SOME HELP ONCE IN A WHILE. HE SOUNDS GOOD BUT EVERYTHING THAT GLITTERS ISN'T GOLD SO BE CAREFUL AND THINK OF IT AS GOD'S LITTLE WAY OF HELPING YOU
    Lele1987

    Answer by Lele1987 at 7:05 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • On one hand, I don't see a problem: when you are in a relationship, you should take care of each other. On the other hand, you did just get together, and you don't really know that it will work out, so getting financially mixed up together could be a bad thing. I do like your idea of opening a separate savings account where you'd be able to send his money back to him if it didn't work out. If you are fully able to take care of yourself (even if it's a struggle sometimes), I'd continue to say no, and use that account if he does send money. If you find yourself in a jam, and can't find any other way out, that would be the time to sit down and discuss the possibility of him giving/loaning you money to help you out.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:19 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Let him send the money and just put it in a savings account and do not spend it. So you have some back up money for the future.
    When I first met my DH that is what I did. He kept handing me money. I had told him I really did not need it and never asked for it either. By the time we got married I had like $5000.00 in the bank.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:31 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

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