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Advice needed

I am not trying to start a debate her, I just need honest advice...not religious harping. The bff of my DD called me yesterday. It was her 18th bday. She found out that over Christmas break, she became pregnant. Her parents were born in Iraq. They are very devout Christian. She is freaking out. I worry about what her father will do if he finds out. I think she should tell her mother. I told her I am here for her as is my DD, but I think she thinks she wants an abortion because she is scared to death. I don't think she realizes how icky that will be, and that is a choice that will stick with her forever. I think she really needs to tell her mom. But I don't think she wants to. What would you do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Jan. 18, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I'd talk with her and ask her some questions to help her talk the whole situation out and really wrap her head around it.

    What are the benefits and challenges of motherhood right now?
    What are the benefits and challenges of adopting out the baby?
    What is she afraid of?

    In truth, her folks are going to be disappointed. Every parent hopes every child is financial stable and happily partnered and secure before children come into play. But another truth, no one ever has enough money for their kids, even if you're a millionaire.

    Her parent's aren't going to murder her. No one is going to lose a limb over a new baby. This could be the best thing that has ever happened to her.

    She's 18. She's legally an adult and ultimately she needs to make up her own mind. You are very generous to help her think through this.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 11:41 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Oh wow, that's hard. I would just be there for her as much as possible. Talk to her about all her options, be there when she needs you. Best of luck and I'm glad she has you
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:01 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • She needs to step up and tell her mother. She chose to have sex, now she needs to take responsibility for her own actions. The first of which is to tell her mother and figure out how she is going to raise this child or give the child up for adoption.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:03 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • OP here, I don't know that I can help her with an abortion. That for me is not an option. I don't think just because at 18 you decide to have unprotected sex abortion should be used as birth control. Helping her with one is really against my beliefs. I want to help her but I don't know how far I can go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I'd give her the information she asked for. It's her decision.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:48 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • OP here. She has the information. She is asking me to take her there. That is MY decission. I have to live with that. I just don't know if I can be there for her in that copacity.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 PM on Jan. 18, 2010