Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What should she do?

A family member has a child with a man who is in the U.S. illegally. He has moved in and out of her life for the last two years and just recently left her again. She doesn't work because she can't get daycare assistance (she says) without giving the employment information of the child's father. She doesn't want to give any information on the father for fear of him being arrested and sent back to Mexico. Any suggestions on what she should do?

I know what I want to tell her, but I can't stand this guy and wish they would send him back.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Jan. 18, 2010 in Money & Work

Answers (7)
  • let the dead beat illegal get shipped back to Mexico!


    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • If theyre not married shes not required to give any info on the father PERIOD! All she has to say is she doesnt know where he is or what hes doing with his life. and if he didnt sign the BC she doesnt have to claim she KNOWS who he is!!! But if hes that much of a dead beat why the hell does it matter if he gets sent back!? JMO...Sounds like she really doesnt want to work....and has found an excuse shes comfy with using!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 11:55 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Some people don't know the where the father of their child is or what he does. Why can't she just claim to be a single mother?
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 12:01 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • OP Here.........I agree with several of the comments above. 1. Why does she care if he is sent back. 2. Why doesn't she tell "them" she doesn't know who the father is. 3. She doesn't want to work.

    ANSWERS
    1. I'm sure she still loves the guy regardless of the fact he is a jerk. Most of us have been guilty of that at one time or another.
    2. Apparently if she says she doesn't know who the father is she has to explain how she has been living the last two years.
    3. I don't think she wants to work either and is using this as an excuse. Just wanting some other opinions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • well imo--she don't need someone who treats her like that and her baby don't need someone who comes in her life for 1 minute and dissapppears the next even though she loves him she needs to do what's right for the kid not herself she needs to get a job reguardless if child care is paid that kid needs food and other essentials she is responsible to provide for that kid even if it means taking 2 jobs to do it...imo she needs to get some gutts and not allow him back in her life and just live alone her and her kid..odds are if he's dissappearing for weeks or months at a time he's either married already to someone else or has another girl the sooner she wakes up and realizes it the better
    chica679

    Answer by chica679 at 12:33 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • If he isn't living with her, they don't need the information. Too bad if he gets sent back to Mexico, if he wants to be in the US and benefit from all the freedoms in the US, he needs to become a LEGAL citizen. You could always call INS and turn him in yourself. It can be done without giving your name.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:35 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • well i agree with u
    if she wants the help she needs to figure out what she wants out of life for her and her kid
    she can get alot of help and if he wont help her oh well see ya
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.