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Suppose you get an abortion and regret it immensely. Does that mean you are more moral than someone who gets an abortion and doesn't regret it?

This is not a question to bash anyone and it's not a question of whether abortion is right or wrong. I ask because I just read a journal post about a woman who is sad and upset over getting an abortion. It made me think that even though I had the same procedure done at 7 weeks with what would have been my 4th child, I almost never think about it. I wonder whether it would have been a boy or girl and am sad about never meeting him/her, BUT I already knew we couldn't afford it. Our home is tiny, we get Link Card and Wic, my husband works but doesn't make much and I've been fruitlessly searching for a job. There are times when we have to choose between diapers and gas in our car or paying a bill. We are worse off than living week to week and I know I couldn't handle another child. I had a tubal done after and had an IUD when I conceived. Anyway, am I a bad person because I don't regret my choice?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Jan. 18, 2010 in Health

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • It might surprise everyone you've ever met but 'feeling bad' isn't related in any way to morality or ethics. In our victim culture, it's often hard to see that. Healthy people are resiliant, and do not carry deep regrets around with them. They make peace with their decisions, even the hard ones, even the ones that are ultimately mistakes.

    Harsh judgement comes from a lack of acceptance of people's struggle, a lack of honour of people's real motives and a strong sense that people are stupid, wrong, amoral, unacceptable and evil at the core. Whenever someone judges another or herself, she's demonstrating her own self-acceptance --or the lack of it.

    The expression of regret, or the claim of guilt, is often an excuse to avoid accountability: as long as you say you're sorry, you can get away with doing anything, as often as you'd like. It's immature --and lacks moral fibre. Perhaps you're just more mature than the other one?

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:46 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • OP here, let me clarify: I had a tubal done after the abortion because I knew we were done having kids. I had the IUD while I waited for the doctor to approve my tubal and got pregnant with the IUD. We were planning on sterilization before I even had the IUD.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • IMO no. You did what you needed to do for your family.

    Someone that regrets it like that obviously did not think it through completely before having it done.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Dont know if youre a bad personor not but obviously you are thinking about it because you asked.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I personally do not ever look down on anyone who's aborted. If a friend or relative came to me for guidance I'd spent time researching all choices and present them, and stand as support whatever the decision to term or not.

    Maybe your abortion was easier for you cuz you already had children plus it was very early in the pregnancy. Sometimes a women who has no children at all decide abortion is best and that can bring guilt, probably depending on emotional support when aborting and afterwards.

    I hope your family gets better financially. That is scary I know. Better be prepared for a showdown at the abortion corral. It could come. Hopefully not though.

    Answer by lfl at 11:19 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I have no idea how you assign points for morality. Everyone's moral judgements are different. Basically, women's answers are going to be based on whether they think abortion is innately wrong or not. But, your question is, to someone to whom abortion is wrong, does regret make it better? I don't know, does regret make immoral things better? That's an interesting question. In cinema, it does seem that the audience has more sympathy for someone who does a wrong deed and feels regret than someone who feels no guilt.

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 11:23 AM on Jan. 18, 2010


    OP here. This does not look like a baby to me. I have had 3 babies and I have seen the ultrasound before they gave me the tablets. The little speck on the screen was not a baby. It would have become a baby had I not ended the pregnancy, but show me a 7 week embryo that can survive on it's own and I'll admit I killed a baby. At 7 weeks I didn't even kill a fetus.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I think I <3 you Linda! LOL FABULOUS answer!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Jan. 18, 2010