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If my heart wants more children but my pocket book says no which do you listen to?

I already have two beautiful little girls. I really would like to by the end of the year to be trying for another. I just feel like I am being selfish by wanting more. But I can not get my heart to let it go. I have always wanted a big family. I just didn't think life would turn out they way it did? I really could use some advice on how other mothers have made the choice to have more kids even if they can't afford it. Thanks


Asked by Mommyove2 at 2:44 PM on Jan. 18, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

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Answers (10)
  • I don't exactly know what to tell you, all I can share with you is my own experience. I had my first 3 without even really thinking about it. Yes, I realize now how irresponsible that was. But we (my husband and I) decided to make the decision right. We had to move out of our home town so that he could get a higher paying job, I finished college (even though I did work for a while i decided to stay home with them), and we learned to live on a budget. Soon after 2 more kids came. And yes, they might not have everything they might want. But I actually find that it is better for them. They all get great grades, I am always complimented on how respectful and considerate they are, and I see how selfless they have become. Money is not everything. They are happy too. They have each other, and they really feel that they are blessed.

    Answer by peace1234 at 2:55 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Find a way to afford it :) and start trying. Where theres a will theres a way.

    Answer by SweetPoison at 2:50 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I would love to have another baby someday, and I would really love for my son to have a sibling. But at the same time, we can barely get by with just one child, especially since I'm a stay at home mom. I hate to bring money into ttc, but this is just the way it is. But SO told me, exact words, "we'll see where time takes us". So maybe one day we will ttc for #2 :)
    As sweetpoison said, where there's a will, there's a way!

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 2:54 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I only have one 10 month old boy, but I too feel the same way as you. We are already having a hard time keeping up, and I recently went back to work because of it. But I want to have another baby soon to. I talk to my partner about it all the time, he say's that he wants to wait until our 1st is over a year old, witch isn't too far away. So this means that now we will just have to do our best to save up a little extra.
    ~Over all, moneys just money in the end.. I think family, and having all those people around you and in your life are 100 times better. Plus, Im shure you have people who you can rely on, and who can help you out when you need it. I think that if you and your partner are both on the same page with the desision, and you really want another baby, then go for it- and good luck!

    Answer by ness_033 at 2:56 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Why not just enjoy the children you have, instead of scrimping to get buy having more than you can afford? My husband and I stopped after two children, even though we could afford to have a dozen children...we wanted boys, we got what we wanted, and now that they're past the baby stage and old enough to really start traveling (and doing stuff) and we find ourselves enjoying life with them so much more--it's a whole new chapter for us! :o)

    Answer by LoriKeet at 2:56 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I'd love to have another one, the toddlers we have here are my stepboys. I don't have any with DH, my own kids are moved out and to be honest I just feel like we're a family.
    Our problem is that I'm almost 48 and my health is really bad, I'm not sure I could even live through a pregnancy. So I guess it's no more babies for me.

    Answer by daisy521 at 2:59 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • If you can not aford to have more don't.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:04 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I would say unless you are approaching 45 or 50, listen to your pocketbook for now. It WOULD be selfish of you to have more children if you have to rely on other people (or the state) to provide for them.
    Are there any adjustments that can be made to your budget or income? I would wait it out and see where life goes. Who knows, in a couple years you may find that you CAN afford another child....or even by the end of this year like you said. No need to make the decision right this second.

    Answer by jenellemarie at 4:16 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I have heard that when a person gets old, they usually tend to regret not what they did, but what they didn't do. If your heart wants another child, then I think that I would rather suffer a little more financially, than live with a small hole in my heart for the rest of my life. You might always think about the child you should have had. Also, you will not always be in the same financial situation that you are in now. Things tend to get more stable as you get older. Most of the time anyway.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • somehow it always works out even with limited income. it has for us anyway. we may not have college funds or a big savings but we get by. i would have another. sometimes there just isn't a perfect time to have a baby. in our case it's not perfect but we expect it to never be. we have a 2 month old and not using birth control cause i'm starting to get to old.

    Answer by melody77 at 4:41 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

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