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Am I being a jerk?

For the last 6yr.s or more I've been sending things out of the country to my country of origin like my kids' used clothes, toddler beds, cribs, strollers, car seats, powerwheels, bikes, computer, couch set, etc... Not that I didn't try to give it away here first but I'd have tons of ppl. say they'd pick up then wouldn't. I would then end up storring things for months & a mess in my home. In the end ppl. wouldn't even pick up which is why I started to send them out of the country. My point is this... I'm done with sending things over there. My mom sends crates every few months & that's when I send these things. She always promises to give these things to "needy ppl." she promises to take things to orphanages but they always end up going to her greedy selfish family (her sisters's kids's kids, her cousins's kids's kids). The thing is they never are grateful. They always want more, or complain about the...con't...1 of

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:15 PM on Jan. 18, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (14)
  • con't...

    they complain about the color, the style, or they say things like "tell (me) to keep sending (or) send more".

    They have actually said things like " I don't need it, can't use it & don't even like it but I'd rather you give it to me then anyone else".

    They are greedy selfish ppl.

    Now my mom, one of my brothers & my sister are the type of ppl. who will go into debt to buy ppl things they don't even need. Ppl. they aren't even close to just so that, that person can like them (at leats until they want the next new thing). So they think I'm being a jerk for not giving my mom all the things my kids no longer need or want but that I'm now looking for ppl. I have met online here on CM or on FB & after they pay shipping I send it to them. Sometimes I'll even pay the shipping which is never more then $15.

    They think I'm a jerk for not wanting to "help out the family" which is BUNK. con't... 2 of

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Give it to whoever you want! If you dont want it all to go to your family, just donate it somewhere else or something. You dont have to give it to people you dont want to have it.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 3:25 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Every summer we visited with my mom & siblings. My mom would buy me my new school clothes in June instead of in Sep so that I could have brand new clothes to travel. As soon as we'de get to our vaca home, there would litterly be a line out side of the front door of the house of my mother's family asking for things. With in the first few days my mom would give away ALL my clothes from socks, to underwear. EVERYTHING & her fam. would then disapear when my mom would run out of things to give them. All my toys would be given away all my clothes. My mom would then buy me some new clothes there but before we left the country to come back here to the US she'd give it all away again. This happned from the time I was 4yr.s old until I got married & moved out although anything I "left" at my parents house when I got married was also given away (as always with out my permission) con't...

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • No, you're not being a jerk at all. Why in the hell should you be supporting your family's kids? You bought it, you used it and now you want to give it to people who can't afford things like this. I would definitely find less fortunate people that would APPRECIATE all these things.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 3:33 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Sometimes we send things to the Phillippines with my husbands aunt. She sends crates of things there about once a month. I think it's easier for me because i don't personally know or speak to the people who are accepting these things. Usually it's nothing more than old clothes and small toys that my daughter doesn't play with anymore. But I think that if you feel they are ungrateful and don't want to send things anymore, then don't. You're using your money to buy these things, so you are the only one who should decide what happens to them when you're done using them.

    Answer by mama2br00ke at 3:33 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • So I'm not being a jerk?

    I think they've gotten more then enough & my mom has created monsters I refuse to be a part of it anymore. I ask because today they were working on my guilt because I posted about giving away clothes sizes 12mths,18mths & 24mths that no longer fit my DS & my bro was given my an ear full about sending it to "our family" as opposed to giving it to some one else.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • It sounds to me like you need to think about what you're doing, and why you're doing it, and what you want to get out of it. Once you come to terms with were you stand you won't feel like a jerk any more.

    BTW, I don't think you're being a jerk!


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • No! You're definitely not being a jerk. Maybe from now on you should give your things away without them knowing. And when they ask if you have anything to send, just tell them no. I don't think I would send anything either if I my mother gave away all of my things and they were always ungrateful about it.
    Good luck!

    Answer by mama2br00ke at 3:38 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Thank you so much ladies, I really do appreciate it. That's how I feel about it, every piece of clothes, every toy, etc... is my husband's time that he spent working & away from our children. It's devestating when I see his face & he's so upset because he missed a milestone. Just to give these things to ppl. who will complain about the style, color or what ever or worst ask you to send them more because they want to start a used clothes store or something like that. (I'm prob going to regret saying this) but my hub & I are christians. My mom & brother are always using that as leverage & to guilt me into sending these ppl. things. Things like "what sort of a christian are you" or "God doesn't care who you send it to just send it to them". but it's not that, it's just I'd really like for the things I send to be given to ppl. who really need them & not ppl. who just "want to have them so that no one else will". KWIM?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Start donating all your things in your area I am sure there are alot of needys here. Case closed!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

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