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What can you do?

I just found out my ss who is 15 yrs. old is now having sex...I knew it was soon going to happen but damn when it hits you it hits you I have known this boy since he was 1 yr. old :( Where does the time go. My dh and I were talking and my dh told me I am not sure if I should buy him the condoms or just let him go at it alone, He feels if he buys them he is giving a big ok to have sex and if he doesnt' and something happens...???? What can you do? Teenagers ARE going to do what THEY want anyway...we were all there at one time. Thanks!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Jan. 18, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • can't he buy them with his own money, if not make him get a job and keep him busy
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 4:13 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I personally would not buy him the condoms. However, I would have the "be careful, don't screw up, use a condom" talk with him, not just once, but often. Also, I would make sure he had money available to him so he could buy them.
    Dyndudes

    Answer by Dyndudes at 4:16 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Maybe Dad can take him to buy them. It's tough because you don't want to say you approve of it but it is already happening and so you have to make sure it happens as safely as possible, and you want the son to get familiar with buying them on his own and not being embarrassed so that he doesn't just go without once he runs out of condoms. If you are mature enough to have sex than you have to be mature enough to buy condoms. And explain to him in detail the consequences of getting a girl pregnant- being tied to that girl for the rest of your life whether she is your girlfriend or not, her having opinions on all of your future girlfriends or wife, the financial responsibilities, the obligation to that child to be a part of their life, etc. Not the least of which is the fact that having a child is such a wonderful gift, you want to wait until a time in your life that you are ready to accept and appreciate that gift fully.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:19 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • We were not ALL there at one time. I never had sex as a teenager and had amply opportunity. Someone needs to talk to him about how stupid it is to be having sex at 15. How it is immoral and unhealthy to be with that many partners. He needs to be educated in department of self respect and respect for his girl friends. Sex is not apart of dating. He also needs to be taught that is he chooses to make a stupid choice such as having sex with anything that has 2 legs and a vagina that he is putting him self at risk for aids and other STD's as well as the possibility of getting a girl pregnant. The you are not okaying anything you are having your say and giving him the option to either listen and at minimum make less stupid choices by getting his own condoms or he can not listen and put himself at risk. at that point you know he has been taught what you feel is right and knows his options .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Buy the condoms. Doing so is NOT showing that teen sex is ok but it is showing the need to be protected against pregnancy and STD's. Once my son, 13, starts having sex I will have a self filling drawer of condoms. I have been talking to my son about sex, responsibility and respect since he was about 6 yrs old. He knows how I feel, he knows that sex is a natural and beautiful thing and that he should wait until he is ready for the possible consequences.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:26 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Buying the condoms is no different than putting a dd on the pill. We have had soooo many conversations about sex, and waiting and everything else. But no matter how hard we try there is only so much we can do. But talk and don't stop, about everything.
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 6:43 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • DS has his own money and can buy condoms, but if he ever said Hey mom can you get me some condoms while you're out I would. We talk about possible consequences, preferring that he wait but the reality that he probably won't and the importance of using a condom every time, so I think it's better to buy them than have him not using them.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:58 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Someone need to have the banana and condom talk with him. It can save his life!!!
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:57 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I would buy the condoms!!! I would also make sure that my son knows how I feel, and there are consequences for his actions. I would tell him that having sex is a serious thing and that it shouldn't be taken lightly. There are always going to be the excuses that he doesn't want to be the only virgin in his group of friends, I would say " well better to be a virgin than a dad", or " better to be a virgin than someone with an STD" Kids think that they need to have sex to be cool, to fit in. I did. As long as you talk to your kids, and make sure they know what can happen!!!
    tishalb

    Answer by tishalb at 4:37 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

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