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I need help on disipline......I have 2 DD's over 4.5 and 2 and I don't know what to do anymore I need to somehow put the fear of God into them. What to do? I do spank, I do put them on the couch for time outs, I do groundings and my kids are still really bad. I am consistant with it as well. It has gotten to where they only get one warning now.

Alot of poeple tell me my oldest has ADHD, but I think she is just over hyper she has lots of energy that is for sure. I have taken things away. A friend of mine tells me it is cause I don't have that scared voice I have kind of a queit voice. How can I get my kids to be better behaved? I can't even go anywhere without them acting up. My oldest will be dancing in the isile at the grocery store. My youngest is into EVERYTHING you tell her to stop or whatever she acts like she is deaf. People come over it is like they don't know how to act they are so hyper and climbing on the people that are here when they tell them to get down the girls don't. Then if I am on the phone they are really bad. Please no bashing I just want some advice and how I can make them act better. I see kids that are so well behaved, but not mine they are soooo bad please help.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Jan. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Look up Love and Logic on the web. Nothing is better. I have 3 crazy little ones and am a teacher- the tactics work and work well. :-)

    Answer by HistoryMamaX3 at 4:37 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • You're using fear tactics, not discipline. Discpline means "to teach." What you're doing is punishing. Kids can't learn anything if you don't use discipline, not punishment tactics. Try "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline" by Becky Bailey. It's by far the best parenting book I've ever read (and I've read a lot!)

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • ANON 4:29 not sure what you are trying to say? Where do you get the book?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I agree. Punishment does not teach good behavior. Children get worse, they get sneaky, lie, hit, bite, and resent their parents. Authoritative parenting style is the most effective. You can read more about it on google.

    I think the easiest first book is Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary. She has a website called Star Parenting. There is some parenting info there and a chart you can print and put on your fridge. The book is small and practical, little therory.

    There are lots of good parenting books and lots of parenting skills you can learn that can change your family life. Besides books, you can find info online, go to parenting classes, conferences, or take college courses.

    The parenting books offered on the La Leche League website have all been approved by the advisory board and Leaders that have reviewed the info in the books. LLL is not just about breastfeeding. All the books sold on their site would be good.

    Answer by Gailll at 4:40 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I looked on LLLs website and they don't sell as many books as they used to.

    This is a really good article about saying no:

    This is why time-outs don't work:


    Answer by Gailll at 4:54 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I have heard good things on Love and Logic too. I don't have this problem but I can understand your frustration. Two thoughts came into mind when reading your post. First, consult the doc on your daughter to rule out ADHD, it's possible that is part of it. Secondly, cut as much sugar out (check breakfast yogurts, juices, snack items, etc for sugar and high fructose corn syrup) as you can. Also, do they get out and excercise? It could also be that you need to really wear them out. When you are patient with them and get to their level and look them in the eyes, does this help? Or are you always angry? I swear when my two year old was rotten I watched Super Nanny for tips and used them. The above girls had good book suggestions. Good luck! Hang in there!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:57 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • jeanclaudia

    Now with it being cold out we don't go out as much, but even in the summer time they were still like this and they were outside all day long at times. It does wear out the youngest but not my 4.5 year old. And when they first miss behave I do get to there leveals and talk to them and I am not yelling or anything, just talking to them and it doesn't help. I don't get angry until about the 4th time having to tell them the same thing. I don't have cable to watch super nanny. My 2 year old has this thing with getting mad at someone she will bit them or she hurts herself. My 4.5 year old I can't even get to go to bed at night both bedtimes are at 8pm she wont finally go to bed until 11 or 12am she keeps coming down stairs if we are in bed she will keep coming in our room. She wants to stay up later I told her I woul let her stay up until 830 if she would go to bed at night but she don't also

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • she will be starting school this coming Augest so I am trying to get her on a schedule. Then she wakes up at 730 or 8

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • it sounds like you're doing a good job, do your kids act up outside the house though? most kids will act up and push their parents in the comfort of their own home, but if they're good outside of the house that's important, that means some of what you are doing is working.

    Answer by angevil53 at 5:23 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • no they are bad when we go to the store to family and friends house too

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Jan. 18, 2010