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help with grandparents

my mother-in-law does not help with disipline with my children. she allows the kids walk all over her and throw tempers. When they come they want to act like wild animals when they come home. i would like away to tell her to not let them act like that but i do not want it to be hash. anyone have any ideas.

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jenniferfleet

Asked by jenniferfleet at 4:55 PM on Jan. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (3)
  • You have got to say something. Explain to her consistency and how it's critical they behave while at grandma's as well as at home to keep things on the same page. Tell her you otherwise have to deprogram them when they get home and it's twice as much work for you. Just be nice and act like you need her help in this matter, which you do.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:00 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Kids can adapt to different rules for different places. When they pull anything that you think they do there at your house just mildly say, 'oh, you know we've never behaved that way around here,' or 'I love you too much to let you behave in that way -it will just make you feel bad about yourself.'

    You can't control what other people do, and it's like ordering frustration and disappointment on Ebay to even try. Free her to have as much havoc at her house as she wants, and deal with what happens in front of you.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 5:16 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • Maybe they are the "don't sweat the small stuff" type of grandparents. Just mention that you'd appreciate them supporting your need to discipline the kids.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:42 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

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