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Has anyone when through this before? ... Any advice would help.

I know this is horrible but its just how i feel, and im asking on here b/c im too embarrassed to ask my friends or boyfriend. Well my daughter is 15 months old now, and im currently have been being a stay at home mom since she was born.. i got pregnant when i was 19. Now i feel so much resentment because i feel like i didn't get a chance to be young I know i brought it upon myself for having sex but he was my first love but he was 25 so i feel like he doesn't really understand where im coming from... It makes me really depressed staying home all day and not having enough money to do the things im used to doing, i can't even go to school... i have no friends anymore and he works 12+ hours a day.. i just don't know how to change how i feel.. i find myself wishing i never had her or gave her up for adoption.. the point is has anyone else gone through this? How can i get over feeling like this? Am i just a horrible person????

 
JessiEvo

Asked by JessiEvo at 5:55 PM on Jan. 18, 2010 in Health

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Answers (9)
  • Normal, normal, normal. You had a baby early, I had my first baby at 22 and still felt the same way. Talk to your doctor though because it could also be depression or seasonal depression, either way staying home with a child no matter how cute they are is TOUGH. It is boring, isolating and lonely. I completely understand what you mean and I understand the money issue too. Your memory has a way of tricking you, thinking about how you USED to do things and now you just feel stuck. I get it. Does it make you a bad mommy? NO, you are human! Don't beat yourself up! When I started staying home my oldest was 2 1/2. I hated the first six months of it because I didn't have a routine. I need something to do every day, even if it is as simple as attacking a closet. Find something that you can do everyday, doesn't have to be the same thing, but something that you can look forward to. It will help you in the long run. Continued-
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 6:04 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • No you are not horrible, you are just now realizing what you did was a mistake but there is no reason to feel like that bc now you can chereis the beautiful moments of your child time goes by soo fast and as for doing things try to keep yourself busy like doing housework...yeah I know whooppi but I mean is try to not to focus on the negative of what happen but the positive it will soon pass just hang in there remember you are control of you. Get a hobby, exercise (with your daughter), play little games with her...you will find things to do...GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 6:00 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • I felt the same way. But I realized there was nothing I could do about it. My life would continue on whether I was ready for it or not. My son was there and I had to take care of him. I know it's hard but it's just something we have to do, we have to move on with our lives. I would encourage you to try to make friends. :)
    Zacherysmommy08

    Answer by Zacherysmommy08 at 6:01 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • No, you aren't horrible. I had my son when I just turned 19. It was hard. I had to quit school to take care of him and sometimes feel like I'm missing out. My husband is rarely home during the week due to his job, but we spend a lot of time together on the weekends and that helps. I am now 21 and we are expecting another baby in April. I am really happy with my life...even if I took the road less traveled. My son is 2 now and I can honestly say I love being a mommy. If you ever need to vent feel free to send me a message. =)
    Krystal.Ingalls

    Answer by Krystal.Ingalls at 6:03 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • If you are able to, you can figure out free things to do in your area and then DO THEM. Get outside and walk, if it's too cold to do so, go to the mall and walk and window shop. Do your own thing when baby is sleeping, seriously. Surf the net, take a bath, polish your toe nails. FIGHT the urge to clean, that can be your ME time. That is what I had to do, CLAIM it! Find a little hobby, mine is cooking, plan new recipes...PM me if you need anything, believe me we have all been there, and the mom's who say they haven't are LYING!!! When you are tied to another person's care 24-hrs a day, you just get in a rut. Please, PM me if you need anything!
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 6:07 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • You are normal. What about finding play groups at local schools, library, church. You need to get out with your baby and meet others who are experiencing the same things, and you may find that at these groups. You will be fine, but look into doing something for the both of you. Take care.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 7:32 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • you are not horrible. just realize that your life at this moment is not how your life will always be. quite frankly, i really wasted those years you are talking about missing right now. i wasted a lot of money in college not doing well, i wasted a lot of time just partying...it may seem fun, but really in the end we all seem to be looking for what you have right now! just remember, $ can always get better, and it is never too late for more education. in a way, it seems to make more sense to get pregnant and raise your children while you are young, then you have a much better idea of who you are as a person and can build a career around that, if that is what you want. try not to dwell, try to enjoy what you have and always have hopes and dreams for the future!
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 9:09 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • It's not normal, like some of the moms are saying. Far from it. I'm a sahm and have the same conditions as you, but I'd never even imagine wanting to be without my son. That would be my worst nightmare. You're obviously suffering from depression, bc it is not normal to be so sad and to regret having your child. I know you're young, but you sound like you have selfish reasons behind it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • You need to get out of the house!! Go to story hour at the library; take a Wiggleworms or other mom and tot class. Contact a local community college and take a class in the evenings, or during the day if you can find childcare.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:36 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

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