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MIL and raising my son...

i'm going on 34 weeks prego, my obgyn asked me to take it very easy (no lifting toddler, no laundry, no shopping, no dishes etc) so we have my mil staying with us to help. i've been catching up on my sleeping this past week and when it came time for her to go home for the weekend and i had my son to myself i notice he had picked up horrible habits and did things i always teach against. how do i let my mil know she doesnt need to parent my child without saying that. i've made the gestures in front of her when my son does something wrong for example, when he whines instead of asking for some milk i would calm him down and make him ask me, and tell him big boys dont act like that. She tells him no to something then turns right around and lets him do it anyways. I cant have a new baby and a gone ape toddler at once...how can i control this?

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Bugsmommy1908

Asked by Bugsmommy1908 at 2:24 AM on Jan. 19, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 3 (23 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I actually think you do need to tell her that it is not her job to parent your children if you don't it will get out of hand and you will flip out.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 3:20 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Leave her a list of "suggestions" on how to handle certain situations, like whining. Even better, have her son write out and discuss the list with her.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:25 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • You have to remember she is the grandma and not the mommy. She lets him get away with more than you would, she'll baby him more than you would. I seriously doubt she'll do him any real harm while she's there. Just try to relax and let your child enjoy his grandma, and let grandma enjoy her grandchild.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:37 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • You have to also realize that your son is going to regress a little simply because the new baby is coming. Also, because you can't MAKE grandma parent the way you do, you are really at her mercy right now because you need the help. Even if your toddler becomes unruly later, you really can't blame grandma, it would have happened anyway because the new baby is coming. Hang in there, try not to stress, and let go of the reins if you must in order to get thru this next several weeks. Your baby doesn't need you to stress. You'll be able to handle it once the baby comes as long as you realize that your son will need some reassurance that he isn't being replaced, that you aren't going anywhere, and that the baby is a blessing to ALL of your family. Good luck!
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:07 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

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