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hubby just wont talk to me anymore

i dont know if it's me just being over emotional or him just being over stubborn, but he just doesnt seem to have the time or patience to have a simple conversation about anything with me. he always tells me "i have it under control". i let him know i understand and believe that but i still want to talk about things as a married couple. it's really starting to hurt my feelings and make me worry about what is to come for our relationship. what should i do? he never has the time, want or need to converse.........sigh!

 
Bugsmommy1908

Asked by Bugsmommy1908 at 2:45 AM on Jan. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (23 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I think it is possible that at some time your husband has gotten the feeling that you were questioning his ability to handle situations. Men are very sensitive about this. Also, men do not like to talk about their feelings and they aren't too interested in hearing about yours. That's mainly due to the fact that they are very rational thinkers. They believe that everything should work sort of according to a formula. Your husband will talk to you but you have to learn how to approach him. You cannot do that the same way you would your mother or your best girl friend. You also have to learn how to listen to what he is saying. He's probably speaking volumes to you already, but he speaks in "man code" and you are probably not understanding what he's telling you. Part of the fun of marriage is in learning these things about your husband, but it takes a lifetime. I've been at it 45 years and I'm still learning.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:01 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I know what youre saying, my husbands been doing the same things. I ask questions about things that he already has planned out in his head and when i ask him.. he won't tell me, he'll just say HE knows what will be happening.. or bla bla, I told him Its my life too and he acts as if i have to right in knowing. he said after that its actually that he DOESNT know for sure.. he just doesnt want to worry me about things i cant do anything about
    MJ_BN_FE

    Answer by MJ_BN_FE at 3:07 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • If he doesn't know how you feel about it, tell him. Make sure you two are alone and there would be no interruptions. Just make sure you're not making it seem like it's a confrontation and more like you just need to simply talk. Don't yell at him or get overly emotional. That wouldn't do either of you any good. If you have already tried that or you try it and it doesn't work, send him a heartfelt and thought out email or letter. It might seem impersonal, but from my experience it's the best way for him to see exactly everything you're talking about without the chance to have a fight or be interrupted.
    PyroDeerHunter

    Answer by PyroDeerHunter at 3:11 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Steve Harvey makes a joke in saying that men just aren't wired to conversate the way we (as women) would like. He goes on to say that what would make us happy would be: 1)a gay man to joke/talk and shop with, 2)an old man for financial security, and 3)a mandingo warrior for sex. This was referenced in his book "Act like a lady, Think like a man." I highly recommend it.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 4:15 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Some men just think talking is unnecessary. My SO is not a talker. There is no way he'd sit down and have a real conversation. I don't take it personally.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:30 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

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