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Does my boyfriend love his ex?

My boyfriend has a kid with his ex and she told me that he tells her that he wants her back and loves her. She claims that he wants to wake up with her every morning so I asked him about this and he says he doesn't want to talk about stuff like that right now. I told him that I was thinking about ending it if he can't explain to me and he's been texting I love you to me all day. I love him too but I'm not going to put up with him if he's really wanting her. Why hasn't he explained to me on why she is saying this? He will respond to other questions but nothing about what she said. He's told me days ago that she calls him all the time for money and that he isn't with her and wants to get off child support so he can spend all his on me and our baby on the way. She lives far, far from us so I know they don't see each other. But does he love her if he isn't even assuring me that he doesn't love her or want to be with her?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:37 AM on Jan. 19, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (16)
  • I would bet it is the x just trying to start drama. Her being an x means you can't really listen or trust anything she says. Don't push it, just wait until he comes home and let him explain. But as far as the child support can't just stop paying child support. This is his child, it is his responsibility to help support the child. GL

    Answer by robyann at 7:02 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Sounds fishy demand answers and leave if he doesn't give them.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 6:42 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Get off child support? huh? he doesn't want to pay child, or recieve it?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:45 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I agree he trying to hide something.

    Answer by officerdouglas at 6:48 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • He wants to get off child support and spend all his money on u. Now what if u and him don't make it and he gets a new girlfriend. More than likely he will be telling her the same thing if they have a child. Just something for u to think about just in case u and him don't make it.

    Answer by officerdouglas at 6:57 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • maybe he is leading her on and telling her these things just to keep her from being a bitch and to keep her from doing anything about child support

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:18 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Well, exes do try to stir up trouble, so always keep that in mind any time an ex tells you something he "said". With that in mind, his refusal to even discuss it long enough to deny it sends up red flags for me. If my SO confronted me with something my ex said I said, I wouldn't be refusing to discuss it, I'd be standing there telling him that I never said that. I think most people are the same way. When you haven't done anything wrong, you're going to say so when confronted. I'd continue to ask him, and if he continues to refuse to talk to you about it, you might want to seriously consider that to be an admission of guilt.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:21 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • You have to understand that there will always be a special bond between them. There is no way around that. They have a child together and he can not turn his back on her. That is a trait that may bode well for you, as well. He obviously does not want to commit to either one of you on a full-time basis. He has told you he does not want to discuss the subject, so if I were you, I would stop bringing it up. It would have been better had you made this discovery before you conceived another child who will likely be missing a father. Right now, you are faced with two options. One is that you accept things just as they are and share his affections. The other is that you kick him to the curb and do the best you can on your own. I personally would not like either one of those, but those are your choices. When you allow yourself to conceive babies without benefit of marital commitment, this is the result and I am sorry.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:16 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • if he just ignores the problem and says he doesen't want to talk about it sounds like his ex is telling the truth.. furthermore, you cannot just get out of paying child support and why would you want him too. that kid is his responsibility too. i would demand to know if he has feelings for her and that you are aware of all communication between them, emails , text messages. you need to know for sure if you are the one he wants to be with , don't settle for less.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Wow, wanting to get off child support by saying nice things to her making her think he's coming back to her? That tells you what kind of man he is. I hope your child support is court ordered just to protect your child bc he'll do the same to you. I noticed he's a bf and not a dh. Not bashing, just saying he shows he's not into a serious commitment but doesn't mind having children (and doesn't want to pay for them). Think about that before you decide to stay with this jerk.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

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