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handling 2 kids and housework and just everything.

I am a sahm my daughter will be 5 in march and starting school in august and i have so many thoughts,fears and concerns and questions about that. it scares me to think about her going to school. she didnt do any daycare or pre school. I am pregnant with baby #2 due in June. i find myself worrying about handling 2 kids and housework and everything in general.Anyone been through this,had those thoughts and how did you get through it. My boyfriend works and doesn't do any housework he says its my job so not much help from him and i don't really see it changing. help?

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alyssa1

Asked by alyssa1 at 9:35 AM on Jan. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 12 (688 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Just muddle through dear. Do all that you can do and accept that there are some things you can't. Start giving your oldest chores, make it her job to pick up her messes maybe put her laundry away. My oldest is in kindergarten this year, he's a big help when he's here I miss when he's at school! Other than that just remember it isn't possible to be a superhero and do the best you can.
    Slinkee

    Answer by Slinkee at 9:40 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Maybe you're feeling overwhelmed due to the hormones. Having a 5 year old and a baby will not be hard to manage at all.

    I had my second baby when my first baby was only 20 months old. That was difficult to manage until the baby wasn't nursing quite so much. Now I have a three year old, 21 month old and a 4 week old baby. I just thought housework was difficult to take care of when I had a toddler and a newborn. Now with 2 toddlers and a newborn it's close to impossible.

    Don't stress over your situation. A few weeks after delivery, you will find a comfortable rhythm for managing your house and family.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 9:42 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • there first day of school is so crazy for u and your lil one. but know she will like it and make friends and have fun coloring and painting just imagine all the things she will make for u its wonderful. she will be a lil scared at first it is new and u wont be there. but the teachers will help her adjust. and when she gets home have a scedual like snack time talk about her day and if any home work. while she is at school get most housework done. and when new baby comes whne u can during napping get what u can done. it will be tireing for a while but u will get something going and a routin. dont worry about school she will love it. and so will u. fair warning..u will cry its emotinol but well worth it. xoxo
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 9:45 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I have a 4 year old and a 4 month old. You do what you can in one days time! Your schedule will shift a little bit once the baby is born. But then you will get onto a new one. It really wasn't a big change for me. Just takes a lot longer to get out of the house for appointments, harder to do shopping! I still cook, clean, and take care of both my girls! My 4 year old is in school, half day so that is also nice! Just do it one day at a time! You will do just fine! :) A lot easier than what you would think... especially since you have a 5 year old ~ Good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • First of all he needs to learn a little thing called respect. Put him in the same situation you are in and see if he can handle it. Secondly, I had my two kids much closer (18 months apart) and I was scared slap to death that I couldn't handle it, but it isn't as bad as you think it may be. Typically your fears outweigh the actual reality of the situation. And with one being in school you will have much more time on your hands to be with the new baby personally and to do the things you need done around the house, not to mention that the 5 year old is at an age where she can help and probably enjoys helping.
    Don't fell like you have to be super woman. You can only do what you can do when you can do it. I always tell my bf that if he wants something specific done and I haven't gotten around to it... either he can ait until I have the time and energy or he can get in there and do it himself. He puts up or shuts up! ;)
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 9:59 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • My husband used to tell me that it was "My Job", because he worked from 9-5:30 everyday. That, that was his only responsibility in the household was to bring home money. It is selfish and it is wrong of him to believe that. He asked me to move in, he married me, he had children with me .. that makes him obligated to share in the responsibility of our life that we created together. No excuses, no cop outs, just man up and do what he helped create. It took a year and a half for him to finally start participating with intention of doing so. He still isn't what he should be, but he's getting better.

    Your BF is a jerk. There is no job in your household that is souly one person's obligation only. He helped create the life that you share, and it is his obligation to help you sustain that life. (Contin)
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:55 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • (Contin) My children are 13 months apart and I worried about how I was going to handle it too. I knew going into it ...

    1. Choose your battles. There are battles you must fight with your oldest and battles that aren't worth it. If you choose to fight all of your battles you will only run yourself ragged.

    2. You're only one person and can only take care of one child's needs at a time. If they're both crying/screaming (or just needing something) pick one, get what they need and then take care of the next child. Making one wait will not hurt them, scar them, or damage them in any way. Again, you're only one person.

    3. Routine.Routine. Routine. Both children need to be on a routine. Especially your older one, since you can dictate what that is more then the younger one. This will help you out greatly.

    PM if you would like to talk more on this subject!
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:13 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • You will be fine. The rest of us did it with no problems so you can too. My x didn't do any house work. He said it was women's work too. I had three kids. You just learn to adjust. The oldest will be in school so you can concentrate on the house and the baby. It's all good.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:25 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • You'll be fine. I have two kids who are close together. They are only a year and a half apart. You just take one day at a time. There will be days where you might have a sink full of dishes or laundry that's piling up but it's OK. Your oldest will be in school so for most of the day you will just have your baby and you can get some chores done while the baby is napping. You'll figure out a routine that works for you and you'll be OK.

    Juggalette0327

    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 11:32 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • First...breathe. It will work out fine. I have 3 under 5(my oldest will be 6 in March).

    I do whatever they need and throughout the day I do at least two household chores plus dishes and taking out trash.

    I run errands in the morning before naps, if possible. If not then we do them right after naps.

    Just follow what feels right to you and remember to breathe(cuz sometimes you forget when trying to focus on everything all at once) and take it one thing at a time til you get a routine built up.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 2:30 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

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