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WHY? please tell me!

Why do women subject themselves to this crap?
"My DH/BF doesn't give me any money"
"My DH/BF refuses to help with his kids, that's my job"
"MY DH/BF doesn't let me go out with my friends"

WHY? Why do women put up with this crap???

If something is "my job" I better damn well get paid for it, and not just roof over my head and food if he's going out with is friends or buying himself stuff!

Don't get me wrong, I've been in some bad relationships. But I LEFT!

say it with me ladies!

I AM NOT A DOORMAT! I AM NOT HIS MAID! I HAVE A BRAIN & I CAN USE IT!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on Jan. 19, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I think this probably happens for a lot of reasons. For some this type of behavior comes later on in the relationship and they feel stuck and can't get out. For some maybe they are co-dependant and can't walk away and are looking for ways to make change in the situation - without fully understand that he's not going to change. Some women doesn't see these things as forms of abuse and continue to stick it out because they think it will be better with some advice. It sucks, my situation is different but I feel stuck and trapped and abused and unable to really leave - for fear it will hurt my children, because I'm holding on a to a dream of my perfect family, because I'm co-dependant, because I don't want to hurt my husband and leave...all things I have to work on for myself to be a stronger woman, until then I will continue to live with the misery.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:52 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • some women have nothing to begin with and when they meet their husband's they are prince charming to begin with...so they think they are getting something good when in reality they are getting a shitty deal and they are still left with nothing
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:47 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • OP here


    It hurts my heart to see women like this!


    simple frown

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • OMG! You took the words right out of my mouth sister! I read these posts of theirs and just shake my head........
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 9:49 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Well, if someone is out working to support you then you really shouldnt complain. The roof over your head and the food you eat do cost money which he had to earn so you really are getting paid.


    It is your job to take care of the kids if you are not working. He doesnt have to give you money if he is feeding you and buying you things. If you were really unhappy with the amount of money you have you would go out and get a job. You obviously have food, a home, and internet service. You also have enough time to yourself to get on cm. Quit complaining. Chances are you have it better than some people.

    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 9:50 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • She wasn't saying this is HER situation,you read it wrong.
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 9:52 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • amber -
    I understand IF the woman still gets things she wants. I'm talking about the woman sitting at home eating cheese sandwiches because her husband refuses to give her grocery money to get food for her and the kids while he goes out to eat. I'm talking about the man that gets a new video game each week while the woman has 1 bra and it's broken and held together with a safety pin.
    I understand that their are women who think this is the way to be treated by a man, but those women aren't the ones coming on and complaining and asking "what do I do?"

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I don't subject myself to that I can tell you. If it is his money and he doesn't want to help then obviously I don't need his sorry @$$ around, now do I?

    Lol, and ask my ex what I do in those situations... ha ha ha. Ask him from his house where he and I aren't together! ; )
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 9:54 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I'm sure they didn't realize they'd be in this situation when they entered into the relationship. I'm guessing it gradually turned into a total dependence on him and they are not sure how to get out with no income, no support group, little mouths to feed and the fear he might take her children. So it's not always as cut & dry as others think. I agree that they should try to leave the controlling relationship but they need to make a plan and build up their confidence in themselves so they can move on.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:01 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • He doesnt have to give you money if he is feeding you and buying you things.
    ---------
    That sounds like a father daughter relationship. Were talking about husband and wife. Thankfully, my husband doesn't think like that. What ever comes INTO the house, is ours, not his or mines. That includes money. We have a bank account, which is in my name and his check goes directly into the account every other week. I NEVER have to ask for money, i know how to spend the income right(buying food, house necessities etc). If anything most of the time he ends up asking me for money lol.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 AM on Jan. 19, 2010

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