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Step Dad?

for those of you with mixed familys.. Do you make your kids call your new hubby dad? i mean my son has asked if he could for two years and he has, but lastweek end he came home from his "sperm doners" sayinghe didnt want to and that hes not my hubbyz son.. im just lost he doesnt really know that he hurt my hubby.. My son is only 6yrs old, but i just dont know what to do..

He has a younger bro and he has been calling my hubby by his real name.. so we asked my son to not call my hubby by name in front of him.. My just so lost.. An the ex is all in my face about it.. GGGRRR!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Jan. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • First, this sounds like your childs father got to your child and filled his head with all kinds of crap regarding your DH. It is petty but to be expected. I say let him call your DH what ever he feels comfortable calling him. In the end, he will know who is there for him and who is not. My older kids do not call my DH dad. They were 15,10 and 7 when I met him. They do not see their dad. He has basically raised them and it does not bother him a bit they call him Bill not dad. My parents are divorced. I have a mother thank you, and I don't feel the need to call anyone else mom. I think your son is young, but you should just go with the flow on this one. You are the adults. He is making all the adjustments, let him do what he is comfortable with.

    Answer by salexander at 12:32 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Our boys call my Hubby, they're stepdad, Dad and their biodad Daddy.. No one made them, they just decided to do it on their own. Like our boys say, they have 2 Dads, and 2 is better than 1 any day! I'm sure Biodad wasn't happy with it at first but all I told him was if the boys are happy, that's all that matters. I'm sure in his heart he's upset about it, but he can't say much because my Hubby is great with our boys and they Love him so much... How can you argue with that?

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 1:01 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • That's a lot of responsibility to put on a 6 yr old's shoulders. You really expect him to think about what he's calling your hubby in front of the other child? He's not an adult. He's a little boy. I'm sure sperm donor had something to do with the change of heart with calling hubby dad so don't blame a little boy. All of this mixed family stuff is confusing enough for children. I can't believe a grown man would get hurt over a child coming home from bio dad's house and not calling him dad anymore. He's probably just following orders from bio dad. Don't throw guilt on the child over this. Just figure out a name everyone agrees on. All the step parents I know are called by their first name. Maybe he could be daddy bob or something. As adults, work it out then help the son bc he has no clue what you adults want from him. He just wants to be loved.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:18 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • My kids were 6, 8 and 10 when I married my dh. They all call him "Steve" He's not their dad, they have one of those (although I'll agree he is a poor excuse for one). My dh was concerned when our youngest was born that he would pick up on it and start calling him "Steve" as well. He doesn't - he's now 14 months old, calls his dad "Da da" and has no problems understanding who he is.

    Answer by missanc at 1:43 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • is he really just a "sperm donor?" because he came home from the guy's house...meaning the guy has some part in his life. maybe you're making it hard by being so negative towards his biological father. I'm sorry...but its just tacky to refer to him as a sperm donor. you had sex with him after all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Jan. 19, 2010