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how should i approach separation anxiety?

I'm a stay at home mom and my daughter seemed to be so independent. She never seems to miss me when other people are around like my neighbors or family. I started to go to the gym and they have a small daycare there. She began freaking out and crying the entire time. What should I do to ease her into being without me

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Asked by satzmi at 12:59 PM on Jan. 19, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (3)
  • All you can really do is continue and she will get used to it. She will learn to trust that you are always coming back. Will the daycare at the gym allow this?

    Answer by Anna92464 at 1:00 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Kids do adjust but it can take time particlarly if the people running the center don't actively engage the kids (i.e. are they playing with the kids or just watching them.) Having other people around isn't quite the same as leaving her someplace new. You might want to stay with her for a few minutes and show her the fun things to play with. Remind her that you'll be back in just a little while. You don't mention how long you leave her for but you might want to start with shorter periods of time and build up as she adjusts (which will help avoid fraying everyone's nerves..)

    Answer by momofryan07 at 2:39 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Yeah, it's hard especially since it can sometimes seem to develop overnight. We had periods of time where we just chose not to leave our daughter in places like a church nursery or where you describe where the caregivers aren't consistent and they have a lot of kids to handle. Familiarity can help and repetition can make it get better, but unless they feel like the person is a sort of second momma (like my kids feel with my mom), the protests will most likely continue until she grows out of that particular wave of separation anxiety. If it's something you need to do and don't want to give up, then just talk her through it ahead of time, remind her you'll be back after your class, and then still be prepared for the drama the second you leave (no matter how on board she may have seemed until then).

    Answer by EmilySusan at 4:21 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

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