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i know I have a jealousy issue but would you be kind of upset

Okay my husband is japanese and I am friends with a girl who is OBSESSED with japan and I know she thinks my husband is cute.The thing is im ok with them emailing and stuff but she is always asking him to translate stuff in to japanese for her and he does it with no issue but if I ask him to (im learning japanese because we might be moving there and are visiting his family in june)when I ask him he is always like im busy or acts like he is pissec about it. she sent him an email a few days ago talking about her being sick and my husband is like sorry you are having a hard time but keep your head up and keep walking and sooner or later good things will happen. he does not say nice things like that to me when im upset so why to her. i know he is not interested in her romantically but I though *I* was his best friend. i know it sounds silly but im bugged

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Jan. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • He obviously thinks she needs to hear such things and thinks you are strong and don't need constant reminders of things most adults already know. Just hug his neck and tell him how proud you are of him helping her but not to forget you need him too.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:59 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • talk to him about it, tell him how you feel. i'd be bugged too
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • this might sound really bitchy but she has her OWN husband she should not need to hear crap from mine
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I would mind him emailing her saying nice things to her that he doesn't say to me. You don't have a jealousy problem, you have a disrespectful husband problem.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I'd be PISSED too~! But I think admckenzie is right, like usual...lol
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 2:08 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I'd keep my eye on the situation. This is how emotional affairs start ( and an emotional affair can be more dangerous than an physical one!). I know some will say it's okay to have opposite sex friends while married. I agree to an EXTENT. I also think there should be limits ( and he should know his without discussion). My concern would be his lack of concern for your feelings!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • She is flattering him in some way that you probably just take for granted. Maybe she thanks him profusely, and you don't. Or it could be something about the way in which she asks for him for his help that he finds flattering. Or perhaps she has somehow made him feel sorry for her--you know, the poor damsel in distress kind of thing. Whatever is making the difference, I think it is perfectly normal that you should want to know why. I know no better way to find out than to simply ask him if you are doing something that annoys or aggravates him, if he finds you to be too independent or not independent enough. Before you have this conversation though, prepare yourself to her some truths that you may not want to hear but that are necessary if your marriage is to survive and be all that it can be. Openness and honesty about these kinds of things is always the best way to handle them, but you have to ask specific questions.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:08 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • the thing is i do flatter him i make a point of it to tell him how wonderful he is. I feel like icnat talk to him because he goes off and it turns into a huge fight
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I sent him email but he wont email me back like every time i try to talk about something important but if i talk face to face iget a huge fight started
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I would be bugged too. My bf has a nasty habit of saying things like that or calling other women "sweetie" when he writes them.. but I think maybe he is just better at explaining his thought or feelings through writing/typing words rather than actually saying them out loud. If it feels like a larger issue just tell him how you feel about it and ask why he does that for her and not you.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 2:27 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

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