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Working mom vs. SAHM (Husbands point of veiw)

I was listening to this radio show this morning that consisted of , of course, just men. They were discussing what they looked for in a wife. The unmarried one said that his wife would have to be one of two things: wroking and they would split the chores or not working and he would expect a clean house and dinner when he got home. The married guy said that the latter of his 'options' was not a wife and partner but a mother (to him) and not a real marriage because marriage should be a partnership where both do their part. Unmarried guy said they are both doing their part(his way) He brings home the bacon and she cooks it while cleaning the house. What do you think? who was right? Or do they both have a small point.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Jan. 19, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Both have a point however the single guy isnt right when it comes to his attitude about it.

    Its a partnership plain and simple. IF the couple decides that one will "bring home the bacon" and the other will serve it,etc or that one works but they split the chores 50/50 or they both work and hire a maid to do the chores...then so be it. It shouldnt be a demand or expectation but a MUTUAL decision.


    Answer by Amaranth361 at 2:56 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I think its up to each individual to decide what they want out of a partner and up to each couple to decide what's best for each family. I know that I could not be married to a man who sits on the couch when he comes home and doesn't help with the kids and housework, so I chose one that helps and takes responsibility for what happens in our home when he is not working. I am definitely an equal partner type of person, but that doesn't mean that someone who wants to do all for their husband is wrong, it means they want something different. I also work from home full time and bring in a fairly large paycheck...technically I am a WAHM *and* a SAHM at the same time.

    So, both men are technically right, as long as they are only speaking of their own personal situations.

    Answer by gramsmom at 2:55 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Dr. Laura's book The proper care and feeding of a husband is a great book and addresses this ssssssssssoooooo well!
    I think if a man works fulltime, then the stay at home wife's job is her home. Not to say that the husband can't or shouldn't help out when he gets home because after all, they both have worked the same hours!
    Both parties in a marriage should APPRECIATE each other and what each other does for the relationship and the household.
    I have no problem taking care of everything in the home as long as it's not demanded of me AND as long as my husband treats me with respect and appreciation for the things I do. (like I said, it goes both ways).
    I think the world today see's traditional roles as being old age and demeaning to women. Horrible thing to think. We have the most important job in the world!
    I also help my husband out with his work whenever I have the opportunity and if he needs my help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I think 99% of this whole thing is the attitude applied to it. If each party is being respected and cared about by the other, it's okay for the man to work and the woman to take care of the house and kids. If the woman works outside the home, it is only fair that the chores get split 50/50. The problem is it rarely works that way. Too many men think that SAHM means mommy and maid to him and the kids. On the other side of this is the man who thinks the WOHM should do all the work with the kids and house after work and the dividing of chores goes right out the window.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 3:39 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • i agree with the single guy...if you stay at home it's your job to take care of the house/cleaning/cooking. i'd say outside or handyman things are up to him though, but it won't hurt a woman to take out the trash.

    Answer by angevil53 at 3:53 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I see both sides. I stay home take care of the house and stuff but I also expect him to help when he gets home. It is his home and his children also so he should help. I have never had problems with him helping out. Most the time he doesn't have to be asked and is more than happy to do it. He wanted a family and he enjoys taking care of us. He knew when we got together that I was not Betty Crocker or Susie homemaker. After having the twins we just couldn't afford for me to work. Since he made more I quit and stayed home. He says he is very proud of me and thinks that I have come a long ways over the past ten years, which helps me want to be a better partner.

    Answer by kc932 at 4:02 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Partnership where both do their part is a real marriage.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:06 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Every marriage is different and it is up to each couple to decide what is right for them. My husband's ex wife was a SAHM yet she refused to cook, had a housekeeper and sometimes did laundry. He never complained from what I hear (though his mom thought this was awful). Now he's married to me - I have a full time career/job. I cook every night when I come home, clean up the kitchen after dinner, I do the laundry, and I make the bed every day (we have a housekeeper so I'm thankful I don't have to do other heavy duty cleaning). I don't let him do any of the housecleaning/cooking duties (though he makes breakfast for us on weekends) and this is my choice. He did not make this rule. He fixes things around the house, takes the trash out and kills bug or spiders for me. Right now, he pays the bills but as soon as our bank accounts are merged (we just got married) I want to be involved in that too.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 5:11 PM on Jan. 19, 2010