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If you have a lot of family near should you also have a paid babysitter? Drama story!

My MIL moved from California after losing her job across country to be with her grandchildren. She has been here for five months and I have asked her to babysit 2 kids about 4 times. Keep in mind, she's unemployed. The other day she told me she has a problem with her being our only option for childcare. (Childcare meaning a night out on the town with my hubby.) She feels that we should have and be using a paid babysitter. She feels like she's being taken advantage of since we don't have a paid babysitter. I feel like it's extremely selfish of her to suggest we let a stranger watch our kids when she's more than capable. Like she cares more about her own needs than the safety of her grandchildren. This is the reason she moved here!....allegedly. Am I taking advantage of her to ask her to babysit once in a while? BTW, last time we paid her and she took it.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Jan. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (36)
  • Sounds like you are the one being selfish not your MIL. Why would you not go somewhere where you could take your child?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Sounds like she just wants money. While my husband was in boot camp and AIT I had a 40 hour a week job. I was going to get a paid baby sitter (because I didnt want people to fill like im using them) When I told my family they almost had a heart attack. My family watched my baby. I don't understand how a grandma would weather someone else watches them. If a day goes by and my grandparents didn't see my kid, they would be calling non-stop trying to get me to come over here. We live in NY now and my family is in NC and not seeing Jack(ds) kills them.
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 3:07 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Actually, I do. Being a grandmother, she has already raised her kids. She may have moved across country to be closer to her grandchildren but that doesn't mean she did it to be over-used as a free babysitter. She may be capable of taking care of her grandkids but that in no way means she is obligated to. I'm sorry to say it but I agree with her. Let her be Grandma, not an obligated childcare provider.
    sillyt

    Answer by sillyt at 3:08 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Hey anon, sometimes ya gotta go to the dentist. Really?!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Sounds like she does not want to do it without being paid. It is sad that family feels like this but some do and you have to either say we will pay you or find someone to watch them.
    Raeann11

    Answer by Raeann11 at 3:11 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I actually think it's selfish for you to expect her to do it. You were the one who had a kid, not her. My MIL has not worked in over 40 years, she is rich and perfectly capable of watching our daughter but she only watches her one half day a week and occasionally on the weekends. We pay over $900 a month for a full-time daycare. I have no problem w/ it, she is my daughter not my MIL's. I would not want her to do it full-time anyway, even if she offered.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • sillyt, would it change your opinion if you knew it wasn't like "daycare"? If it was for errands and an occassional dinner or something like that that could be scheduled at any old time? I mean, she wants to see them ANYWAY!!! "Already raised her kids" how does 4 occasions in 5 months constitute raising someones kids?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • HELLO PEOPLE, THIS IS NOT DAYCARE!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I can relate though my mom would never take the $$ She lives 8 minutes away, complains that she "never gets to see her Bubbie Bear" and still will not make the effort to stop by my house on her way home just to visit much less babysit....

    Whatcha gonna do right? Just find a babysitter and pay her then you will not even have to think about it. I know because that is what I did and my mom got pissed that I did not ask her first......right.
    chefronswife

    Answer by chefronswife at 3:17 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I guess she feels you might want to keep asking her when ever you feel like stepping out she might want to do this once in a while but not too often she probably feels "Hell I have already raised my kids" some woman are that way. But you are right she should be nice about it and say sure honey have fun but if she notices that you are doing this too often hey it's time to pay up...lol Like maybe have a set time and day that way she can expect it and not drop in at anytime. Oh and ignore the negativity here just do what you think is best. Next time let her know in advance hey there 30 bucks in it for you if you watch the kids today...lol GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 3:19 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

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