Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Please help me. I don't know where else to turn...

My sex life with my hubby is fairly good. We like to try new things all the time. I am bi sexual I guess...I have been with ONE woman. I like women, I think they are beautiful. I am 20, my hubby is 21. He has brought up a threesome on several occasions...sometimes I think it would be fun...and I'm sure it would be...but I'm afraid that I will lose it seeing his hands on another woman...And the topic of an "open realtionship" has also come up...but he feels he should be able to sleep with another woman, but I can't see other men. That's not fair. I'm also not so sure I'd be comfortable being with another man. But what can I do to compromise and make this work? Any ideas?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Jan. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • There are no compromises that will work. Marriage is one man and one woman for life. That's it. Anything else and you are not going to have a marriage. The key is in each of you making the other feel like the most special person on the face of the earth, and that involves way more than sex.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:12 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Sorry....I call him hubby...just used to it....we are not married. We live together, but he is just my boyfriend...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • i understand the whole 3some thing. But open relationship? No, never. It sounds like he has commentate issues, that I personally would not deal with. You don't need to compromise with him. If your fine with having a threesome then there's your compromise. He needs to get over the open relationship thing. Especially, since you wouldn't be allowed to have sex with other men but he gets to sleep with whoever? That's bullshit. I mean it would be like living with your F**k buddy, what would be the point of being with him?
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 4:18 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I agree with first poster. I have never seen a threesome work out, it has distroyed every marriage I've seen that has done it. Way long ago I have been the "third" party in this situation and it was so sad to see what it did to someone's marriage, a couple who thought they were strong enough to handle it, but it doesn't work out that way. I will NEVER share my husband, I will never allow another man or woman into our bed. This is not a high school romance, this is marriage and we made vows in front of God, family, and friends and in those vows it says: FORSAKING ALL OTHERS, that means no threesomes, no other people involved in sex. Also the fact that your hubby wants an "open" relationship but only open for him tells me he was nowhere near ready to get married. My advice, do not try a threesome or open relationship, it will lead you to divorce.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 4:18 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • He is asking for your permission to sleep with other women while you can't see other men? That's not an open relationship. That's no relationship. A relationship is between 2 people, not with an optional 3rd for fun. It sounds bad. If that's what he wants and not what you want, and it sounds like it's not, I'd re-evaluate your arrangement with this guy.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 4:19 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • if you have any doubts DONT DO IT
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I made my post before seeing that you are not married, but I stand my ground. Living together, married, whatever, you have made a committment to someone and it should only be that one. Again, the whole open relationship thing so he can have sex with other women tells me he is not committed to your relationship and I would re-evaluate whether you want to be in that relationship or not. Personally, if it were me in your situation, I would have left him and told him to go sleep with whoever he wants because he wouldn't be sleeping with me ever again.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 4:22 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • ur asking for trouble. dont go for it. you will lose it definitly to let another woman in. dont listen have boundaries with ur man n don't let neither man or woman in if u want it to work out. If he can't accept that, maybe there is no solution to this. He has to understand you if he cares about you, he'll let this go.
    fefe87

    Answer by fefe87 at 4:34 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • It sounds like your husband does not want to be married.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:42 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Swing, have a foursome. It's fair and less chance of jealousy.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:18 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.