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How to deal with different rules?

My children father and i are no longer together. We have very different rules for the children. Wondering how to deal with this. For example what they can do inside/outside watch on tv etc. Please help

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missa117

Asked by missa117 at 5:14 PM on Jan. 19, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (5)
  • Just make sure that they know what they are allowed to do in your home. They will learn. It will take a little time though for them to remember whose house they are at. And they will test you to see how far they will be able to go. It was like this when my parents split. It will be ok. Just make sure that you back up what you say. If they are not allowed to watch something on TV and they say "well dad lets us" make sure you tell them "in my house that will not be accepted". My mom had to do it with both me and my sister. It was hard but it all worked out. =)
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 5:17 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • You just have to stick to the rules that you have at home. What your ex does with the kids isn't your concern. I just make sure our boys remember how they need to behave when they get home.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 5:20 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • kids are able to handle different rules. just have them follow your rules and be supportive of his - let them know that they need to follow his rules as well. as long as you are consistent in your house, you should be okay. there will times where it will be difficult, but he has the right to have the rules he wants at his house just as you do at yours. If you are on good terms, you could maybe talk about certain things so that if possible you will be on the same page, but i know that doesn't happen very often.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 8:36 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • The first rule of parenting is consistency. If the rules at the two households aren't similar, your children will use this against both of you. I strongly recommend family counseling to help you all get on the same page
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:51 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • stick to your rules, and always remind the kids what they are before there is a problem. expect that there will be "bad" behavior when they return from their dad's house, and try not to get too upset. they did not choose the split up. i can't imagine how hard this is for kids! be consistent with your expectations, and consequences, that should help.
    sorry about what you are going through :(
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 10:09 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

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