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Update on my catching my husband watching beastiality porn...

After counseling with my husband after catching him masterbating to beastiality porn (dogs with a woman) I still have a hard time dealing with this. He now realizes that I find this unacceptable and has promised to never watch this again but I can't help but notice that I've lost respect for him. I find what he did disgusting and he knows it but I believe in the vows that we took when we married (for better or worse) and try to think of it as at least he didn't cheat on me but it's hard. I mean, how can I compete with a dog? There is no logical explination I can think of to help me completely get over this. It's been 3 months since I caught him and he hasn't looked at it since, I feel aweful for thinking about divorce but right now I have no respect for him and I don't see us working out. I'm too disgusted to move on. How would you ladies deal with this? My friends are shocked that I am still with him.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on Jan. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • ask him if he wants to get a pet dog
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • oh my god. you dont need to compete with a dog! most likely he just likes to see women being penetrated or something. i dont think it is the dog, and i highly doubt he wants to see you with a dog or anything. he could have been on a norm porn site and saw a link and clicked out of curiosity. as long as he isnt constantly watching porn of any type and not having sex with you then i wouldnt worry and you should just try to understand, even though it is gross. you can leave or let go, and it seems like youve already decided not to leave,
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:10 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • NOT funny :09! This is a serious issue that is driving me crazy! I need to figure out a way to get over this or get over him. I don't want to lose my family over this. He is a good man and no one else knows of this. We are just trying to move on from this and I didn't know if any other mom's have been through this. I have not met anyone though (especially not on this site) that has.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I don't think it has anything to do with the dog. Some people just have a weird sex fetish with this kind of thing. I don't know why. He probably doesn't know why. If you feel you can't get over it, then file for divorce. It's the only choice you have. I really don't think you should have told your friends about it. I understand there are some times that you need someone to talk to, but really, this is something they are never gonna let go of. Tell them you are working and getting over it if you think you can. Either way, it's not their place to say if you stay with him or not.
    Punky_1981

    Answer by Punky_1981 at 8:18 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I think you need further counseling. If you feel that that won't be of much help to you and your husband, then I'd say the marriage is over.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • It's not really a big deal, it's one of his fantasies...just like all porn is for most guys. It is a bit more unusual, but it's still just something he gets off on...how do you compete with playboy models? It doesn't make him less interested in you. Honestly, it doesn't have to be acceptable to you, it's his PRIVATE fantasy that he enjoys alone. If he doesn't push it on you or even talk to you about, then why are you so upset?
    huniyxyz

    Answer by huniyxyz at 8:22 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I can't believe you stayed either. I can't give you advice because I'm not going to say that you should stay. You won't ever forgive him for it and I really don't think he's sorry for doing it, only sorry that you caught him.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:26 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • It is a big deal when animals are being sexually abused to make porn. You're disgusting for saying it's not a big deal. I really hope you don't have any pets.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:27 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • OMG that is so sick ~!! I could never NOT be disgusted with a man if I saw him doing that...I wouldn't want him near me ever again...I'm so sorry for your pain hun, I don't know what to say.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • so because I wouldn't want to divorce my husband over the type of porn he watches...that makes me the crazy one? (and you know I'm not talking about child porn, so don't even go there)
    huniyxyz

    Answer by huniyxyz at 8:45 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

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